to go back to sleep when she woke at times that felt natural and normal to her.
She put up a front of indifference and laziness, but beneath all that she wanted to sleep in even still. The reality of her life after her father's death had been all too bleak, and the chance to avoid even a little bit of it by closing her eyes was a welcome distraction.
She dressed quickly, without Rebecca. She wasn't in the bed beside hers, and wasn't waiting in the hall for her, so clearly something must have come up. It wasn't as if Mary couldn't dress herself, after all.
Afterward she made a bee-line for the library, as she had been doing for days. She kept her head down. The truth was that she was still tired, even after all the sleep she'd gotten already. She didn't want to look or think too hard until after she'd had a cup of tea and been reading a bit.
She tried to forget the day before, and the powerful, attractive young man who had barged his way into her house by opening her book to where she'd marked it the night before. It took her only a moment to find her place once more, but reading was slow going. For every sentence she read, it seemed as if she had to read it twice more to comprehend It, and then start again at the top of the paragraph to understand a word of it.
When she finally set the book down with a weary sigh, the clock showed nearly noon, and she'd barely made it five pages. What was she to do?
She looked out the window and tried to figure things out again. This new steward, Mr. Poole. He was far too young to have any experience, she knew. That he'd been in the army only served to cement it. Perhaps he knew nothing at all about running a house.
If he were sent by whoever plotted against her family, it would only make sense that they would be the type who had been in the army. He was big enough to be dangerous, and yet he had manners enough to fit in among the servants her father had kept.
With a frown, Mary noted that she hadn't seen Davis around for the entire day. That in itself was not unusual—he had spent days before serving her father, and she was relegated to one of the maids for service. But she was the only one in the house, now, who would have any sort of need for a butler.
"Davis," she called out experimentally.
She waited a moment for the sound of the door to open. Nothing came. She waited another moment longer and then stood. What on earth could have happened, that he wasn't here? She let out a long, tired sigh.
Perhaps she should stay here. Whatever it was, surely he would be back before long, and she would look awfully foolish for having worried. She sat back and opened the book again, but she didn't read. She looked at the open pages blankly, and then pushed her chair back and stood once more. She should have been notified, at least, if he were going to go out.
That she wasn't was reason enough for concern. She marched out of the room. Whatever was going on, she would get to the bottom of it. Rebecca wasn't waiting outside, of course. And she wasn't in the attic, sewing, either.
Mary's chest felt tight, and her vision started to dim. Whatever was going on, it was bad. She began to think that perhaps, for the first time in her memory, she was well and truly alone.
If her fears were well-founded, and someone was planning something untoward towards her family, she was now well and truly alone. She couldn't do anything at all to prevent it.
She nearly stumbled down two flights of stairs on her way to the kitchens. They were empty, every pot and pan in its place. The sink was completely clean, the floor sparkling. When the cooks had left, they had done their jobs in cleaning up after the place.
She leaned against the counter and tried to still the beating of her heart and slow her breathing, which came in harsh, ragged bursts that utterly failed to give her any sort of sustenance. She needed to get out, to escape. She didn't care about the house any more. She just needed to feel safe.
As she