Undead and Unreturnable Read Online Free Page A

that word again! "But there will be some regular guys there. You, Marc, my folks."
     
    "The Ant?"
     
    "I'm inviting her."
     
    "You are? Well, maybe she'll have a face-lift scheduled that day."
     
    I perked up. "Maybe. You think? Anyway. I'm leaning toward chocolate with raspberry ganache filling, topped with chocolate-covered strawberries. And, you know, ivory basket-weave fondant icing."
     
    "Stop, you're making me hungry."
     
    "And I've been trying to get Sinclair to go tux shopping."
     
    "Why? He's got a million of them."
     
    "Yeah, but this is
the
tux. The mother of all tuxes. The wedding day tux. He needs something special."
     
    "Maybe in a nice powder blue," she suggested.
     
    I laughed. "Or canary yellow. Can you imagine? Wouldn't he just die?"
     
    "Again. Actually, he seems pretty close to it. He, uh, doesn't seem all that interested in the details. I mean, more than most guys. Which is weird, given his cool metrosexualness ."
     
    I hadn't heard that exact term (which had been sooo trendy the year before but was now woefully overused) applied to Sinclair, but I only had to mull it over for half a second before I realized she was right. He had a big dick, adored women, didn't mind kicking the shit out of bad guys, insisted on redecorating all the parlors, was a foodie and a tea snob. Ah, the love of my life. Great in bed and would only drink tea from leaves, not bags. Whodathunkit .
     
    I sat down on one of the chairs and watched George busily crochet. Speaking of metrosexuals . He'd already done four inches across.
     
    "You know how it is. Sinclair's like a tick, he gets so stubborn. 'We're married by vampire law, a ceremony is redundant,' blah-blah."
     
    "That's tough," she said sympathetically. She was digging around in her craft bag and tossing more skeins of yarn to George. A wool rainbow flew through the air: red, blue, yellow, purple. "But you know it's not a question of love. You know that, right?"
     
    "I guess…"
     
    "Come on, Bets. You guys got that cleared up at Halloweentime . He worships you. He'd do anything for you. He's
done
anything for you. It's not his fault he's considered you guys to be married for the last eight months."
     
    " Mmm . Did you know, our wedding is going to be the first vampire monarch wedding in the history of dead people?"
     
    "Something for the diary. Vampire
monarch
wedding?"
     
    "Umm. Because vampires get married now and again. And a vampire/human couple will get married—like Andrea and Daniel. But I guess since the Book of the Dead claims we're already married, it's never actually been done."
     
    "So?"
     
    "Exactly," I said firmly. "Exactly! Who gives a damn if it's never been done? No reason not to do it. But I'm not taking his name."
     
    Jessica burst out laughing. "I just realized. If you did, you'd be Sink Lair."
     
    "Don't even tell me."
     
    "Better not tell
him
. He's kind of a traditionalist."
     
    Exactly what had been worrying me lately.
     
     

 
Chapter 6
     
     
    One of the ghosts came to bug me while I was updating my diary. I don't know why I bothered. I'd write full steam for about a week and then totally lose interest. My closet was full of ninety journals that were only used through the first fifteen pages.
     
    Marc had just left after begging me, once again, to have a carrot cake instead of chocolate. The maniac. We exchanged cross words and then he huffed out. Jessica was asleep. (It was two A.M.) Tina was out on the town, probably feeding. (I was careful not to ask.) Sinclair was somewhere in the house.
     
    And the ghost was standing in front of my closet with her back to me, bent forward like a butler bowing from the waist, her head stuck through the door. I don't even know why I turned around. She'd been as noisy as a dead battery. I just did. And there she was.
     
    I sat there for a moment and took a steadying breath, ignoring the instant dizziness. This happened occasionally. Part of the queen thing. The first time I'd been