when I sleep.”
“Dreams. Me too.”
She could hear the rasp of his breath as they collectively mulled over the mutual horrors that had changed their lives in just a few short moments. She leaned and pushed a finger against the toenail of her left big toe.
“Is Louie acting up again?”
“No, he’s been pretty calm lately.” She sighed and shifted on the bed. “Rosalie and I had a fight though.”
“You and Rosalie? What about?”
“Stupid shit. The groceries. I hate her so much.”
“I don’t know why you stay there, Del. You need to get away from her. She’s only a foster mom to you.” Anger crept into his voice, making his speech even harsher.
“Yeah. I know.” There was nothing more to say about this. They’d gone over this ground a hundred times. He knew of her Southern Baptist sense of duty. He knew she was still afraid of what Louie might do to her. In fact, Bucky Clyde was the only one she’d told the truth about the fire. How it had been Louie who’d started it by pouring lighter fluid on her.
They calmed again into a companionable silence. An owl called somewhere outside her window and was answered by a low mating warble from deeper inland.
“How are you, Bucky? Did that last surgery give you much relief?”
“Umhmm. They lengthened some of the skin behind my knee. It had drawn up right tight.” He paused. “You know…”
“What?” She drew her palm across the smooth surface of the sheet. It was soothing.
“I still feel my other leg sometimes. They said all the nerves were gone. I think they grew back.”
“How can you feel something that isn’t there? That’s kind of weird, isn’t it?”
“No, I read that it’s possible. Phantom pain. I really think I have that.”
“So what’s it feel like?”
“Like throbbing. Like blood going through it.”
“I wonder if I could feel my womb,” she mused. “I don’t feel much of anything there anymore.”
“Yeah, all my stuff is gone too.” He laughed ruefully, and Delora blushed, sorry she had brought the subject up.
“I’m sorry, Buck.”
“Me too. I used to like sex.”
“It was okay. I just wish I had the choice again, that’s all.”
“How’s everything at the Blossom?”
Delora thought of the diner where she worked. She thought first about the bright linoleum floor, then about the coffee smell. The fresh-brewed smell, not that sour, old coffee smell. She didn’t much care for that. Or for the bleach smell of the kitchen.
Her co-worker Marina’s face appeared in her mind’s eye. Marina. She was beautiful, exotic, with soft Latin features and a lithe, tanned body.
“Delora?”
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” She spent some time telling him about how the sun rose in iridescent stages that morning as she watched it through the eastern-facing kitchen windows. She didn’t mention Marina.
“That sounds good,” he said. “I wish I could have seen it.”
“Me too. I really miss you.”
“I’m sure you don’t miss seeing me every day.”
She heard him rise and hop, carrying his cell phone. “It’s true, you’re not very pretty, but then neither am I.”
“Don’t say that. Hey, Bonnie came to see me today. She brought me chocolates.”
“Sounds like things are getting serious.”
Bucky laughed. “Nah, she ate most of them.”
“You said she was a healthy girl.” Delora lifted one of her own slim legs and stared at it.
“She is. Fleshy.”
“What?” She couldn’t understand this word as it wasn’t one he used often.
“Fleshy. To make up for what I lost.”
“Oh, flesh. I get it.” She yawned and tried to muffle it. “I guess I better get some sleep if I can. I have Blossom’s in the morning and the club tomorrow night.”
“How late?”
“You mean the French Club? Usually about two in the morning.”
“Then you get up again?”
She laughed. “Yep. Opening Blossom’s at six.”
“I don’t get it, Delora. You could move away from there and do something