Uncle John’s Unsinkable Bathroom Reader Read Online Free Page A

parents were intelligent, enlightened people. They accepted me for what I was: a punishment from God.”
    — David Steinberg
    “If I ever had twins, I’d use one for parts.”
    — Steven Wright
    One out of every 200 American 30-year-olds is still in high school.

BEHIND THE HITS
    Ever wonder what inspired your favorite songs? Here are a few inside stories about some legendary hit tunes .
    T he Artist: Elton John
The Song: “Bennie and the Jets”
The Story: John’s lyricist Bernie Taupin wrote the song about a fictional glam rock band—it was a satire of the cocaine-fueled excesses of the 1970s music industry. But after recording the song, John and his band thought the song was bland, so producer Gus Dudgeon added in applause, whistles, and handclaps to make it sound more like a “live” performance. Released on John’s 1973 album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road , it wasn’t intended to be a single, but when an R&B station in Detroit surprisingly started playing “Bennie and the Jets,” MCA Records decided to release it. John thought the song was too weird and predicted it would flop. He was wrong—it went to #1 on the pop chart.
    The Artist: The Go-Go’s
    The Song: “Our Lips Are Sealed”
    The Story: In 1980 the British band the Specials asked the Go-Go’s, who had not yet made a record and were still basically unknowns, to be the opening act on their American tour. Specials singer Terry Hall and Go-Go’s guitarist Jane Wiedlin struck up a romance on the road, but a few weeks after the tour ended, Hall sent Wiedlin a “dear John” note explaining that they had to break up because he had a girlfriend back in England. Wiedlin turned the letter into the bouncy pop song, “Our Lips Are Sealed,” which became the Go-Go’s first single and first hit in 1981, reaching the Billboard Top 20. (Hall got a co-writing credit.)
    The Artist: AC/DC
    The Song: “You Shook Me All Night Long”
    The Story: AC/DC was one of the most popular hard rock bands of the late 1970s. In 1980 lead singer Bon Scott died of alcohol poisoning and the band, as well as its fans, didn’t think it should—or could—continue. But they had an album’s worth ofsongs already written when Scott died, so they went into the recording studio to record them with a new singer, Brian Johnson. One day while they were working on the new album, Johnson was staring out the window watching cars go by and had a thought that cars and women were similar. “They go fast and then they let you down,” he said. He immediately came up with the line “She was a fast machine/She kept her motor clean” and then wrote “You Shook Me All Night Long,” which became AC/DC’s first pop hit in the United States. Not only was the band able to carry on without Scott, it was more successful than ever. The album, Back in Black , sold 42 million copies worldwide.
    Since 1990 the average length of a wedding engagement has grown from 11 months to 16 months.
    The Artist: Tracy Chapman
    The Song: “Give Me One Reason”
    The Story: The singer was discovered in a Boston coffeehouse in 1988, and her first single “Fast Car,” a melancholy acoustic-guitar driven folk song, went to #5 on the chart. Chapman won the Grammy for Best New Artist but had no more hit singles. Then in late 1995, she quietly released her album New Beginnings . It included an old-fashioned acoustic blues song she’d written called “Give Me One Reason,” which she had been playing live in clubs for years. Despite the fact that the dominant musical styles of the day were alternative rock and gangsta rap, and Chapman was considered a has-been, the song went to #3 on Billboard , making it an even bigger hit than “Fast Car.”
    The Artist: Marty Robbins
    The Song: “El Paso”
    The Story: In 1959 Robbins, a country music star, recorded an album of cowboy songs called Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs , inspired by stories he’d heard as a child from his grandfather Bob Heckle, who had been a Texas