Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy Read Online Free
Author: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
to drive one night in 2007, so he gave the keys to his 13-year-old son. A patrolman later found them in a park with their pickup truck stuck in the mud. The officer gave the father a breathalyzer test. He failed and was cited for DUI. But then the officer noticed that the boy didn’t look quite right, either…and administered a second test. The son turned out to be just as drunk as the father, and was also charged with a DUI.
THE BIG LIGUES . In September 2002, 34-year-old William Ligue Jr. and his 15-year-old son, William III, were attending a Kansas City Royals baseball game. Standing 25 feet away from them on the infield was Tom Gamboa, the Royals’ 54-year-old first-base coach. For some reason, the Ligues—both shirtless—jumped the fence and rushed Gamboa during a play. “It felt like a football team hit me from behind,” Gamboa said. “Next thing I knew, I’m on the ground trying to defend myself.” The Ligues pounded the hapless coach until players in the dugout rushed out and broke up the scuffle. Father and son were led away in handcuffs. And to this day, it’s still the proudest moment in young William III’s life (judging from how much he brags about it on his MySpace page). More good news: “I’m expectin’ a little shorty.” Watch out world, here comes William IV!
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The American Psychiatric Assn. lists four different caffeine-related mental disorders .
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ELF SCHOOL
Ah, Iceland! Home of hot springs, fermented cod, hard-to-pronounce names, and…invisible people?
L ITTLE COUNTRY, LITTLE PEOPLE
Magnus Skarphedinsson believes in fairies—and dwarves, gnomes, pixies, and trolls. Just about anywhere else in the world, he’d be considered a bit crazy. But not in Iceland. In fact, more than half the country’s nearly 300,000 citizens say they also believe in fairies and other mythical creatures. That statistic may seem at odds with the global perception of Iceland as a hip, techno-savvy Nordic country—until you consider that modernization came to Iceland only recently.
For most of its 1,000-year history, the island was a frigid, isolated outpost of European civilization. Stuck in the Dark Ages long after the rest of the continent had been “enlightened,” Iceland didn’t even have a major city until 200 years ago. And though most Icelanders have embraced the modern world, they continue to cling to the old ways—including, for many, a guarded belief in mythical creatures. Says Olafur Stephensen, former editor of Morgunbladid , Iceland’s principal newspaper, “Many Icelanders say they don’t believe in elves, but often consider it safer to behave as if they might exist. That way they don’t risk offending them.”
ÁLFASKÓLINN
That was Skarphedinsson’s thinking in 1991 when he opened an Álfaskólinn , or “Icelandic Elf School,” to educate the world about his country’s unique heritage. A tall, paunchy man in his 50s with short white hair and a well-trimmed beard, Skarphedinsson teaches classes and leads tours to sites where elves or other strange creatures have reportedly been sighted. According to Arni Bjornsson, head of the Ethnology Department at the National Museum of Iceland, Icelandic folklore contains tales of more than 500 supernatural beings.
Although some scholars come to the Elf School to study Icelandic legends in depth, most students are tourists. For about $60 U.S., you can attend a lecture given by Skarphedinsson and then ride along with him on a tour of local elf sites. You’ll receive a diploma, which states (in Icelandic) that you now know more than most people about Iceland’s “other” inhabitants. To date, more than 9,000 people have graduated from the Elf School.
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Oxford Dictionary’s 2009 word of the year: “unfriend” to take someone off your Facebook friends list.
----
HIDE AND SEEK
According to the school’s textbook, Iceland is home to 25 different varieties of elves, gnomes, trolls, fairies, and the curiously named huldüfolk ,
THE BIG LIGUES . In September 2002, 34-year-old William Ligue Jr. and his 15-year-old son, William III, were attending a Kansas City Royals baseball game. Standing 25 feet away from them on the infield was Tom Gamboa, the Royals’ 54-year-old first-base coach. For some reason, the Ligues—both shirtless—jumped the fence and rushed Gamboa during a play. “It felt like a football team hit me from behind,” Gamboa said. “Next thing I knew, I’m on the ground trying to defend myself.” The Ligues pounded the hapless coach until players in the dugout rushed out and broke up the scuffle. Father and son were led away in handcuffs. And to this day, it’s still the proudest moment in young William III’s life (judging from how much he brags about it on his MySpace page). More good news: “I’m expectin’ a little shorty.” Watch out world, here comes William IV!
----
The American Psychiatric Assn. lists four different caffeine-related mental disorders .
----
ELF SCHOOL
Ah, Iceland! Home of hot springs, fermented cod, hard-to-pronounce names, and…invisible people?
L ITTLE COUNTRY, LITTLE PEOPLE
Magnus Skarphedinsson believes in fairies—and dwarves, gnomes, pixies, and trolls. Just about anywhere else in the world, he’d be considered a bit crazy. But not in Iceland. In fact, more than half the country’s nearly 300,000 citizens say they also believe in fairies and other mythical creatures. That statistic may seem at odds with the global perception of Iceland as a hip, techno-savvy Nordic country—until you consider that modernization came to Iceland only recently.
For most of its 1,000-year history, the island was a frigid, isolated outpost of European civilization. Stuck in the Dark Ages long after the rest of the continent had been “enlightened,” Iceland didn’t even have a major city until 200 years ago. And though most Icelanders have embraced the modern world, they continue to cling to the old ways—including, for many, a guarded belief in mythical creatures. Says Olafur Stephensen, former editor of Morgunbladid , Iceland’s principal newspaper, “Many Icelanders say they don’t believe in elves, but often consider it safer to behave as if they might exist. That way they don’t risk offending them.”
ÁLFASKÓLINN
That was Skarphedinsson’s thinking in 1991 when he opened an Álfaskólinn , or “Icelandic Elf School,” to educate the world about his country’s unique heritage. A tall, paunchy man in his 50s with short white hair and a well-trimmed beard, Skarphedinsson teaches classes and leads tours to sites where elves or other strange creatures have reportedly been sighted. According to Arni Bjornsson, head of the Ethnology Department at the National Museum of Iceland, Icelandic folklore contains tales of more than 500 supernatural beings.
Although some scholars come to the Elf School to study Icelandic legends in depth, most students are tourists. For about $60 U.S., you can attend a lecture given by Skarphedinsson and then ride along with him on a tour of local elf sites. You’ll receive a diploma, which states (in Icelandic) that you now know more than most people about Iceland’s “other” inhabitants. To date, more than 9,000 people have graduated from the Elf School.
----
Oxford Dictionary’s 2009 word of the year: “unfriend” to take someone off your Facebook friends list.
----
HIDE AND SEEK
According to the school’s textbook, Iceland is home to 25 different varieties of elves, gnomes, trolls, fairies, and the curiously named huldüfolk ,
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