Two Loves Read Online Free

occasionally when you’re working.’ She glared at Eliza. ‘And you’re always working,’ she said, unwilling to take all the blame. ‘I mean, Thomas and I are friends. I mean, I don’t see him very often, hardly at all these days. I mean…’
    â€˜I admit to treating him in rather a cavalier fashion, I know I cut him out of my life to some extent, I know I didn’t give him enough time and attention, but—’
    â€˜A man needs time and attention.’
    â€˜All right, I’ve admitted to being negligent. I don’t blame you for trying to take him away from me – he’s an attractive man – but now I want him back. It’s as simple as that.’
    â€˜Have you given up your job, then?’
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜I see.’
    â€˜So what’s your answer?’
    Rosamund took a deep breath. She wasn’t prepared to accept Eliza as the wronged wife and herself as the intruder; it was far more complicated than that. ‘I’ll have to discuss it with Thomas – he’s got a part in all this. I don’t want to make you a promise I can’t keep.’ They looked hard at each other. ‘Do you love him?’ Rosamund asked.
    â€˜Of course. He’s my husband.’
    â€˜That sounds a bit glib. What if I love him, too? I’m certainly very fond of him. I’m always very happy to see him.’
    â€˜You’re just happy to be fucked. Because you haven’t got anyone else.’
    Rosamund looked straight into her eyes. ‘Have you? I answer your questions. Why don’t you answer mine?’
    â€˜He’s my husband and the father of my children and I want to turn over a new leaf and be a good wife and mother. I want us to be a proper family again. And if you have any decent feelings you won’t stand in our way.’
    â€˜Does that mean you love him? That’s what I want to know. That’s what I asked you.’
    â€˜I certainly don’t love anyone else. Though I admit to neglecting him, it was never for another man – there’s never been another man – it was only for my work.’
    â€˜And I expect your work will take over again quite soon.’
    They were interrupted by a sudden cry from the pram standing outside the French windows, not the first shaky bleat of a new baby on waking, but a sharp wail of pain, a cry to be immediately attended to.
    Eliza fetched the baby, put him over her shoulder and patted his back. He grew quiet.
    Rosamund was surprised again at how small new babies were. She wasn’t able to see his face; Eliza seemed determined to keep his back to her, but the little body cocooned in its white cotton blanket seemed too small to be living a separate life. She suddenly decided that if she was about to give Thomas up, she’d like to be pregnant first. ‘I’d love a baby,’ she said. And was surprised at how fretful she sounded.
    â€˜They’re nice little things,’ Eliza said, her voice milder.
    And then she must have realised how lucky she was, or at least how strong her position, because she took the baby from her shoulder, loosened his shawl and showed him off to Rosamund. His face was red and stern and his hands were little trembling claws. ‘Oh, he’s beautiful,’ Rosamund murmured, her voice hushed as though in a church.
    She hadn’t expected Eliza to breast-feed in front of her, especially as her breasts were rather slack and tired-looking, white with greyish veins. It made her look weak and vulnerable instead of sophisticated and powerful. Rosamund felt pains in her own breasts, almost as sharp as when Joss was newly born. ‘I’d really like a baby,’ she said again.
    â€˜Well, you certainly can’t have Thomas’s; that would be most unfair. It’s bad enough for him already. He’s very worried about giving you up.’
    So it was already arranged? Rosamund felt she should at