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feeling
nostalgic, haunted him well into the night and made it difficult for him to
keep up an amicable façade. At times like this, when Anya’s memory refused to
stay in the past, he preferred the company of an anonymous voice from a
faceless person to seduce him into pleasure he didn’t deserve to feel.
         Ralph jumped on his bed as he stripped off
his tux. “Just don’t get any ideas, mutt,” he said as he propped himself
against the headboard, took a swig of his beer to add to the light buzz he
already had going before reaching for his phone. “This is a one man show and I
don’t need any input from you.” Ralph laid his head on his large, curly paws,
facing him from the foot of the bed, his light brown eyes unwavering as he
watched him. “Shit, boy, I don’t need you watching either.”
         Used to the dog’s undivided devotion to
everyone he deemed family, Will ignored his unnerving stare and dialed the 800
number he knew by heart. A few years ago he had attended a bachelor’s party for
his soon to be brother-in-law and had accepted a drunken dare to call a sex hot
line number. Later that night, alone in his room with his demons, he had again
called Midnight Fantasies, allowing the anonymous sensuous voice to ease his
lust because his memories had reared their ugly head and kept him from being
suitable company.
         Despite having grown up with Alec and Gabe
and considering them the brothers he never had and the fact they knew him
better than anyone else, they didn’t know about Anya or how he coped with
getting through those times when the painful circumstances of her death
wouldn’t leave him alone. Eighteen years had passed since he was a twenty three
year old Army Intelligence Specialist with only two months left of his one year
tour of duty in Kosovo. Eighteen years to live with the crushing guilt of her
death and that of their unborn child, to know that he was indirectly
responsible. Military counselors had told him it wasn’t his fault, that it was
a different culture whose laws and attitudes considered women inferior, no
better than cattle, and allowed them to be abused without consequences. He had
found Anya after her father had beaten her for trying to flee instead of
agreeing to marry at the age of eighteen a man in his fifties, a man whose
abuse of his two previous wives led to their deaths.
           Anya
had been beautiful, tall and slender, shy and sweet and he had always been a
sucker for a woman in trouble, probably from having three younger sisters whom
he was always stepping in to rescue from some problem or another. Her only hope
would be to leave the country quickly, so Will did what he thought anyone would
do. They secretly married before she returned to her family to wait until he
could make arrangements for her to travel as his dependent back to the states,
keeping their relationship from everyone except his commander. She had been so
grateful she had insisted on consummating the marriage even though she knew it
was a temporary arrangement. Though Will had been up front with her about that
and had no intentions of being anything more to her than a means to an end as
well as a friend. He was a young man who had been without a woman for almost a
year and when she had shyly stripped in the privacy of his room after their
quick ceremony, he had not been strong enough to resist.
        With
as much tenderness and skill his youth and time allowed, Will divested her of
her virginity and gave her what turned out to be her one and only taste of
pleasure. Six weeks later, one week shy of them both leaving for the states and
new lives, Anya’s father discovered her duplicity and this time his rage led
him to beat her to death. Will’s grief was fed by guilt that ate at him for
days until, the night before he was due to ship out he snuck off base and
confronted her father. It was while Will was teaching the man what a good
beating felt like that he learned Anya had been