perfect.
Less charitable observers might have said that Ezekiel Crane’s appearance was the result of dozens of cosmetic surgical procedures, each paid for with the funds that his followers donated at every meeting. Some said that he wore a wig and false teeth. Others spread more outlandish stories, suggesting that he never slept, was given daily blood transfusions and ate live chickens for breakfast.
There was no shortage of rumours…
Crane surveyed his audience, trying to catch the eye of as many individuals as possible, eager as always to make contacts and converts. This was a typical audience for him: hard-working nuclear families – mom, dad and two kids – the pillars of Middle America. Crane had been surprised by this at first. He had expected more followers from the fringes of society, the hippies and New Agers, but his message seemed to resonate with the most conformist of people. Those who appeared to be the most certain about life had turned out to be the most uncertain of all. Crane was pleased. His disciples were not only respectable, but also well-behaved and loyal.
And they had money. Money they were falling over themselves to donate to Crane’s movement.
“Evolutionists would have us believe that we are descended from the great apes,” Crane continued. “And their theory has always been a convincing one … until now.” He turned to an easel by his side and flipped over a sheet of paper. On the other side were pictures of a chimpanzee, an orang-utan, a gorilla and a human. Next to the pictures were numbers.
“Now, if we were related to these guys, you would expect some genetic similarities … and there are
some
. But it’s not the similarities that are important; it’s the
differences
. If we were descended from the apes, then we would have the same number of chromosomes, right?”
He tapped the board with a pointer.
“Well, if we look at the figures here, we can see that the apes all have forty-eight chromosomes, that’s twenty-four pairs. Now, if you look here” – Crane pointed at the idealized human figure silhouetted on the sheet – “humans have only forty-six chromosomes, twenty-
three
pairs. Which means that we have a pair of chromosomes missing.” He stared out at the crowd, shaking his head. “Now, I’m no scientist, but chromosomes don’t just disappear, do they? So where have they gone?”
There were murmurs from the crowd. Crane took a couple of steps forward, speaking more intimately, fixing the faithful with his eyes.
“What I believe, my friends … what I
know
… is that we are a completely
different
species. One that has existed from the beginning of time. Ape
like
maybe, but different. And what changed us from our primitive form into what we are now is a genetic input from
elsewhere
. A genetic input that fused our chromosomes and made us
men
!” Crane brought his hand down on the lectern in front of him for emphasis. He heard a collective intake of breath from his audience. It always happened at this point in his speech, as if this were the moment when he was going to unlock the secret of mankind for them.
This was the point at which he knew he had them in the palm of his hand.
“Now, if you turn to page fifteen in your books, we’ll read together the words of Ezekiel, the great prophet I am named after. Then we’ll see the truth together.”
The audience shuffled and opened their copies of
The Triple Wheel.
Ezekiel Crane had edited parts of the Bible and other sacred writings that appeared to reinforce his theory and dotted them throughout his book, which, along with the accompanying CDs and DVDs, were selling in increasingly large numbers. Some of those in the audience had read it already, of course, but they were happy to listen again and have their faith in Pastor Crane renewed and strengthened.
Crane began to lead them in the reading:
“Now it came about in the thirtieth year,
On the fifth day of the fourth month
While I was by the River