Tough Day for the Army Read Online Free

potentially useful.”
    â€œUseful how?”
    â€œRage has potency, at least that’s how it seems.”
    â€œYou’re lucky,” Chelsea Stubbins replied. “I got sorrow.”
    â€œI don’t believe you. You are sunshine.”
    â€œIt’s hard to fathom, I know,” Chelsea Stubbins replied. “I didn’t believe it myself for a long time.” She cupped Nelson’s hand in both of hers, applying firm and even pressure. “How’s that?” she asked.
    It was wonderful. “It’s wonderful,” Nelson replied. “There are things in this world that are full of wonder, and this is one of them.”
    Time passed. Maybe eternities, maybe seconds. You can divide every moment into an infinite number of smaller moments, so both those things can be true simultaneously. Nelson concentrated on the one part of his body that felt real, his hand in Chelsea Stubbins’s hands. He kept his eyes closed, but he pictured it in his mind perfectly— her blond hair brushing down along the sides of her coat, their breath clouding the air together, their fingers entwined—which felt like the kind of thing only a God could do.
    â€œYou seem to know a suspicious amount about drugs,” he said.
    â€œYeah, well…”
    â€œMormons don’t take drugs.”
    â€œI haven’t been Mormon all that long,” Chelsea Stubbins replied. “Technically, I’m still a Mormon in training.”
    Nelson concentrated on keeping his body still even as his heart leapt. Separating Chelsea Stubbins from the Mormonism was going to be cake; the ties binding her to the nonsense were both fresh and weak. “You’re going to have to explain,” he said.
    â€œWe married into it—my mom, I mean. I’m from Jersey originally. I had some issues back there.”
    â€œBecause of the sorrow,” Nelson said.
    â€œThat was the start, sure, but then it became its own thing. A greater weight than the sorrow, even.”
    â€œI’ve not experienced that,” Nelson said. “I am weightless when I’m like this.”
    Because in that moment Nelson was so in tune with the world, he could hear Chelsea Stubbins’s lips stretch past her teeth as she smiled. “It’s different for everybody. You probably have not sucked some guy’s dick outside a 7-Eleven for a rock of meth, have you?”
    Nelson winced. “I wish you wouldn’t talk that way. That was a violence.”
    â€œMy therapist says it’s important to name things as they are, so I try to do that now.”
    Chelsea Stubbins slid her hands under the sleeve of Nelson’s hoodie, rubbing his forearm. “Is that OK?” she asked.
    â€œIt’s heaven.”
    â€œYou’re coming home.”
    â€œI hope not. I like it better here.”
    â€œYou’re a funny kid.”
    â€œI’m no kid,” Nelson said. “I am a man among men. I have the heart of a stallion and the courage of a lion. I am an unstoppable force combined with an immovable object.”
    â€œThen I’m very fortunate to have met you,” Chelsea Stubbins said. She removed her hands from under Nelson’s hoodie sleeve and moved to straddle him, slowly lowering her entire body on top of Nelson’s; he felt the pressure of her everywhere at once, and he was warm. She turned her head and rested her ear on his chest. Eyes still closed, he breathed deeply and smelled her hair.
    â€œLilacs,” he said. “Just as I figured.” Nelson felt her rib cage rise and fall against him. His breath joined hers. “The universe is ordering itself around my thoughts because I am at its center.”
    â€œThat sounds interesting,” Chelsea Stubbins said. “But not necessarily unique.”
    Nelson wanted to give some thought to this, but not right then.
    â€œWhy Lance?” Nelson said. “Surely Lance Riggins does not help with the sorrow.