To Die For Read Online Free

time from day one, fuck with her head a while, then split. We figure we’re her little project. She can be ours.
    But when I show up that first day, it looked different all of a sudden. I’m the first one there, and she’s sitting in this booth with a new notebook, and she’s got these papers all copied out, one for each of us, and she’s even typed out all this stuff on her computer with roman numerals. An outline or whatever you call it. And it hits me, I don’t know, that she’s been busting her tail over this, like it really matters. She calls me James and she even shakes my goddam hand. And when I shake her hand back, I can feel it’s trembling like she’s nervous. Which it never hit me somebody like that would be.
    The other times I saw her she always looked so pretty and perfect. Up close, I could tell some things I never saw before, like that she was so skinny she had this safety pin in her skirt. This is dumb, but I remember she had a zit. Nothing major, just a place on her forehead where you could tell her skin broke out, and she’d tried to cover it up with makeup only it didn’t work. And even though she didn’t look so pretty then, it hit me that she was more like a kid, wobbling around on those high heels of hers. She actually thought I was tough shit.
    She had this diamond ring. Jesus, I’m thinking, this chick is married. She’s a TV reporter and everything, and she still gets zits.
    “So,” she’s saying, “I think this will be a stimulating look at the sociological and psychological ramifications of being a young person in the nineties” and blah blah blah. And she’s saying she just knows we can make a dynamite documentary. And I’m looking at Russell, who’s come in by this time, and he’s staring straight at her tits, and she knows that too, and when she gets to the part about being excited he grins. Real quiet, I say to him, “Fuck off man. Lay off her.” Which I never in a million years figured I’d say. A guy like me, I mean.
    But there was something about Mrs. Maretto. I didn’t just want to fuck her. I respected her. I liked her. I didn’t want her thinking I was just this jerk kid that all he cared about was humping some girl. More than anything I wanted her to like me. Not that I let on to Russell, naturally.
    What I said to Russell was, “I’d kill for a piece of that.” But at the time, it was only meant to be an expression.

SUZANNE MARETTO
    P UT YOURSELF IN MY shoes for a moment. All my life I’ve been dedicated to achieving certain goals in life, and I’ve pursued those goals. I worked very hard to get where I was. I never used drugs. Always maintained my appearance. I never got into any trouble. Look at my high school record, and college. I graduated with a 3.9 average. I have always believed that life is what you put into it, and that it is every person’s God-given right to be all that he or she can be. For myself, I wanted to be happily married, with a home and a fulfilling career. A mere six months ago I had attained those things, and I was working to build an even more exciting future. Now everything I had is lost. I’m twenty-five years old, and I’m a widow.
    I know what Larry would say if he were here today. “Don’t let it get to you,” he’d say. “Life isn’t always fair, Suzanne, but we have to make the best of the hand life deals us and move forward from here.” He would say, “I have faith in you, Suzanne. I know everything will work out.” “Look for the positive aspects instead of dwelling on the negative.” And so I am trying to do that. Larry is gone forever, and nothing will bring him back to us. But I can’t give up on my life, just because he’s gone. I’m a fighter.
    This whole thing is like a movie on television I can’t turn off. Sometimes I still wake up, forgetting it actually happened. I look across my pillow, expecting to see Larry lying there asleep. Then I remember. It’s not just a bad dream.
    I had gone out to