a terrible pupil." Paula flushed. She realized that she had practically asked Byrne to teach her.
"Perhaps." Byrne's eyes slowly closed and opened again, changing the grey-green depths to clear emerald. "Perhaps not." Paula felt a tightening thrill at the somehow unnamed implication in Byrne's voice.
To be polite Phil talked on for another fifteen minutes, exuding energy and success, the dimple flitting in and out of his cheek. He stood taller, filling the room with his dark massive physique. He told Byrne pieces of family news. She listened, obviously without interest, nodding occasionally or making some brief comment that showed Paula just how little she really cared about her family. She wondered what this woman did care about. Not money, certainly; not ambition. Without knowing why, Paula wanted this strange person to care about something, anything, to care very much.
Finally, Phil picked up Paula's coat and helped her into it. She buttoned it slowly. Byrne walked with them to the door.
"I'm glad I met you," Paula said in a low voice.
"Are you?" Byrne closed one button she had missed and held her hand there for a moment.
Paula held her breath till the woman released her. She took Phil's arm and moved backward through the doorway.
* * *
In the cold darkness of Phil's Ford, Paula shook herself, realizing that every muscle in her legs ached intensely. She shook herself and tried to stretch out the knots.
"Oh, baby," Phil whispered. "This is it."
"I'm so happy for you." She let him lean across to her and put his mouth on hers. Through the coat she felt the pressure of his hand against her breast.
"It's all right," he said. "It's good. I want to marry you. I'm going to love you forever and we'll have all the good things. No struggling like our folks, honey. And lots and lots of loving."
He moved his head down and rested his cheek against her chest. She looked past him at the lights on the avenue and his voice when he spoke, seemed to come to her from a long distance.
"I'm asking you to be my wife," he whispered.
She put her lips into his hair and the sweet male smell of hair tonic came to her nostrils. "Oh, yes," she murmured. "Oh, yes."
I'm going to be Mrs. Carson, she thought. I'm going to be the wife of this boy. But her feeling was not the fantastic delight she had always expected. With a touch of fright, she realized that this was like seeing a play by sixth graders after having been to Broadway.
She decided that she was tired, that her brain must be as numb as her body. Tomorrow she would know the full meaning of his words and her whole being would burst into the sky in overwhelming celebration.
They stayed quietly together in the darkness until she felt the cold beginning to creep back into her limbs. "Please start the car," she said, "and turn on the heater."
"You're so practical," he replied, sitting up and turning the key in the ignition. "Where's your romance? We've been going together so long that you must think we're married already."
"That's true," she agreed. And maybe that's what it was, actually. She hoped so. With all her heart she hoped so.
"It's still early," he said. "We can go up to Jack's place. I told him not to be home tonight."
"You what?"
"That's right. I knew I was going to ask you tonight, Byrne or no Byrne. I love you so much, Paula. You know how much I love you. But I've never really touched you. Not all the way. And I can't stand it. Not tonight, I can't. Even with all the world so good to me, the one thing that will make it really important is having you. And since we're getting married..."
Wildly she thought: I'll go with him. Ill give him everything he wants. Ill make him happy because I love him and need him.
He swung the car around and stepped hard on the gas. With a free hand he switched on the radio but static jumbled the music and he turned it off again.
They reached Jack's place. Wordlessly she followed him up the musty hallway to the furnished room. Phil got the