This Is How Read Online Free Page B

people.
    If you’re single and you don’t want to be, meet more people. It is, in fact, that easy.

III
     
    Then again it could be that meeting people isn’t your problem at all. Your problem is keeping them.
    Does that sound familiar?
    Maybe “they” always turn out to be “assholes” and they never call you again after the third or fourth date.
    Maybe it’s uncanny how good you are at finding these freaks.
    But maybe? It’s not them.
    Maybe you’re one person during the first several dates, but then maybe you change into a completely different person once you’re more comfortable.
    I have definitely done this. I’ve also wished repeatedly that the effects of Photoshop could be carried over into the real world, for dates.
    I just wanted to be the best person I could be when I first met somebody.
    This is common. And it’s called lying .
    The best person you can be is the person you are when you are alone on a random Thursday. That’s who you are.
    When you are on your best “dating” behavior, when you’ve pulled yourself together and are pretty much the person you plan to be full-time, in the very near future, this is called make-believe.
    The desire to impress somebody when you first meet them is caused by a tiny, invisible, freelance divorce attorney who sits on your shoulder and tells you what to do.
    Be the person you actually are, not the person you think you should be. The theoretical, vastly improved, Oprah magazine–cultivated New You is a nice weekend project to tinker with. If you want to improve as a person do this slowly,over time. And not all at once, as you sit down at the bar and open your mouth to talk about your true self on a date.
    It is much better and wiser to appear on that first date looking as you do in real life with your real friends on a real weekend.
    Because here is the truth: if you want to have a chance at meeting somebody with whom you are genuinely compatible, never put your best foot forward. There’s no such thing as taking out an advance against your future personality. It never works to go on dates disguised as the person you plan to be.
    Never, ever try to impress somebody.
    Be exactly the person you would be if you were alone or with somebody it was safe to fart around.
    Be that person. Be the person you are right now, alone, reading this book.
    And then meet people.
    Then hold out until you meet somebody who is utterly impressed.
    Because then? You will not have impressed them. They will have been impressed by you.
    The difference may seem just a matter of semantics. But it’s not. The difference is finding a person who’s right for you.
    Not one you think is correct.
    The other ways won’t work. Even if they work for a while . . . they will fail. You will always slide back into being who you actually are. And the person you are with will want a refund.
    BUT .
    If you meet somebody and they love you when you areyour true, awful, not-ready-yet, boring, not cool enough, not handsome enough, not pretty enough, too fat, too poor self? And if you love them back so much it makes you calm? And they have flaws and you do not mind a single one of them?
    That means you get yourself to the church and you pull one of those priests out of bed and you have him cast one of those wedding spells on you. If you’re gay and this happens, you just might have to rent a car first and drive to one of the states that operates a few hours ahead.
    Because if you found that, you found it .

IV
     
    Do you understand that you are exactly attractive enough and thin enough (even if you weigh four hundred pounds) and smart enough and funny enough, even if you cannot tell a knock-knock joke without fucking it up? You are exactly everything enough to the person who thinks you are.
    Just like when you look at them, your eyes will get all wet and girly. Because of their beauty. Even if by any ordinary, reasonable standard, they’re short and old and have bad skin.
    To meet your soul mate, you