There Was an Old Woman Read Online Free

be the day.”
    â€œCross what line?” asked Sergeant Velie, puzzled.
    â€œThe Mason-Dixon line, featherweight,” sighed the Inspector. “What line do you think? Now listen, Charley, you’re taking Thurlow too seriously—”
    â€œJust the same, don’t you think we ought to take precautions?”
    â€œSure. Watch him. If he starts chewing his blanket, call Bellevue.”
    â€œTo buy a gun,” Ellery pointed out, “he’ll have to get a license from the police department.”
    â€œYes,” said Charley eagerly. “How about that, Inspector Queen?”
    â€œHow about what?” growled the old gentleman in a disgusted tone. “Suppose we refuse him a license—then what? Then he goes out and buys himself a rod without a license. Then you’ve got not only a nut on your hands, but a nut who’s nursing a grudge against the police department, too. Might kill a cop. … And don’t tell me he can’t buy a gun without a license, because he can, and I’m the baby who knows it.”
    â€œDad’s right,” said Ellery. “The practical course is not to try to prevent Thurlow from laying hands on a weapon, but to prevent him from using it. And in his case I rather think guile, not force, is what’s required.”
    â€œIn other words,” said the Sergeant succinctly, “yoomer the slug.”
    â€œI don’t know,” said the lawyer with despair. “I’m going bats myself just trying to keep up with these cormorants. Inspector, can’t you do anything?”
    â€œBut Charley, what d’ye expect me to do? We can’t follow him around day and night. In fact, until he pulls something our hands are tied—”
    â€œCould we put him away?” asked Velie.
    â€œYou mean on grounds of insanity?”
    â€œWhoa,” said Charley Paxton. “There’s plenty wrong with the Pottses, but not to that extent. The old girl has drag, anyway, and she’d fight to her last penny, and win, too.”
    â€œThen why don’t you get somebody to wet-nurse the old nicky-poo?” demanded Inspector Queen.
    â€œJust what I was thinking,” said the young man cunningly. “Uh—Mr. Queen … would you —?”
    â€œBut definitely,” replied Mr. Queen with such promptness that his father stared at him. “Dad, you’re going back to Headquarters?”
    The Inspector nodded.
    â€œIn that case, Charley, you come on up to my apartment,” said Ellery with a grin, “and answer some questions.”

2 . . . She Had So Many Children
    Ellery mixed Counselor Paxton a scotch and soda.
    â€œSpare me nothing, Charley. I want to know the Pottses as I have never known anybody or anything before. Don’t proceed to the middle until you’ve arrived at the end of the beginning, and then repeat the process until you reach the beginning of the end. I’ll try to have something constructive to say about it from that point on.”
    â€œYes, sir,” said Charley, setting down his glass. And, as one who is saturated with his subject, the young lawyer began to pour forth facts about the Pottses, old and young, male and female—squirting them in all directions like an overloaded garden hose relieving itself of intolerable pressure.
    Cornelia Potts had not always been the Old Woman. Once she had actually been a child in a small town in Massachusetts. She was a ragged Ann, driven from child-hood by a powerful purpose. It was to be rich and to live upon the Hill. It was to be rich and to live upon this Hill and any hill that was higher than its neighbor. It was to be rich and to multiply.
    Cornelia became rich and she multiplied. She became rich almost wholly through her own efforts; to multiply, unhappily, it was necessary to enlist the aid of a husband, God having so ordered the creation. But the least Cornelia could do was improve upon the holy ordinance.