The Wrong Girl Read Online Free Page A

run-in with Michael last week either . . . He’s broken up with the Russian mail-order bride and so now he wants to’ – she made bunny ears – ‘have a chat.’
    Michael was Simone’s ex. They tortured each other constantly, regardless of geographical barriers or new partners. They made Tina and Ike Turner look functional. In Lily’s opinion Simone was still deeply, irretrievably, self-destructively in love with Michael, but insisted she was over him. Lily chose not to ask about Michael any more, such was the torment he’d caused Simone in the two years they were together. He was the genital herpes of boyfriends; persistent, unattractive, painful and there for life. He didn’t deserve any more airtime. He had ended it a year ago under very dubious circumstances, and it had taken at least six months for Simone to lift her head above the cloud of sleeping pills and booze, and show any semblance of confidence.
    â€˜Seriously, think about all the effort and time and money and waxing appointments we spend on those pigs, and what do we get back?’
    â€˜Confessions of love about other women, or just other women,’ Lily said.
    â€˜I’ve really had enough, babe. Like,
really
. Maybe this is the year we reclaim, Lil. Get back to our feminine power. Clear our heads and hearts and keep our bodies pure; focus on ourselves. Realign ourselves to what and who we actually want in our lives, rather than just sailing aimlessly with no intention. Come on, Lil! Should we go on a little sabbatical? No, wait, a saBOYtical! Even just for three months?’
    Lily felt a shot of adrenalin go through her. Three months of no boys was a cinch, especially as she wasn’t exactly getting any action anyway.
    â€˜Make it six, and I’m in.’
    Simone’s eyes lit up.
    â€˜
Really?
Ohmygod, this will be incredible. This will totally make everything right. We’ll keep each other strong; we’ll s
mash
this. It will be like my ultimate green cleanse, but for the . . . heart.’ She smiled her angelic smile.
    â€˜It’ll be easy for me,’ Lily said, standing up, her stomach finally feeling ready for food of a disgracefully greasy nature. ‘I’ve got single-itis. I can’t even remember what it’s like to have a boyfriend. And I’m nearly thirty, don’t forget, Sim; this is getting serious . . . You’ll find it tough, though. You’re the one who has five men a day fall in love with you and an emotionally retarded ex-boyfriend who won’t quit.’
    â€˜They’re bad men. They’re not serving us. They’ve gotta go. If we want to find
real
love, genuine, mutually serving love, we need emotional clarity first,’ Simone mused earnestly. ‘So we’re doing this?’ she asked, hand outstretched for Lily to shake.
    â€˜HELL
,
yes, we’re doing this,’ Lily said, shaking her friend’s hand vigorously.

4
    To: Lily Woodward
    From: Simone Bryant
    Subject: The rules
    Hi babe,
    Bobby is coming to clean at four today. I forgot to leave cash, but just pay and I’ll pay you back tonight.
    I hope you’re feeling a bit better about Pete
    I’ve had time to think about our man-cleanse and I think we need to make some rules, or we leave it open to cheating. Or as you’d say, ‘technicalities’.
    GUY DETOX RULES
No physical contact with opposite sex – PURITY!!!
No dates or hanging out with guys you’re attracted to (so Kevin with the ferret from apt five is fine)
No web misdemeanours: sexy FB chat, Tinder, Skype, email flirting, etc.
No phone sex or sexting
No crushes
    Anything you want to add?
    xoxo
    To: Sim Bryant
    From: Lily Woodward
    Subject: Call me Sister Woodward, please
    I don’t know what makes you think I need all this spelled out, since I am practically already a nun.
    Some additions:
No sex with rich guys and hookers
No pretend