The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P. Read Online Free

The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P.
Book: The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P. Read Online Free
Author: V. J. Banis
Tags: Humor, Gay, camp, parody, man from U.N.C.L.E.
Pages:
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went to another one just down the street, one we had never been to before.”
    Mathews nodded, although he still was not able to discern the point of the story, and wondered if she might have forgotten why he was here.
    â€œThey did a lovely job on him, I must admit,” Lily went on. “Except that when Nasturtia went back to pick him up, they had put clips on his ears—little sequined butterflies.”
    Mathews attempted to conceal his disappointment—was this all she had been talking about?—a pair of costume pins for a dog?
    Jackie too had a twinge of disappointment, but he knew Aunt Lily well enough to recognize at once that she had more to say. At that moment, however, Nasturtia, who must have been listening in the hall, appeared in the doorway.
    â€œIt isn’t my fault,” she snapped defensively, although she had not in fact been accused of anything. “I told them not to put anything like that on Fritz—he’s a boy, after all.”
    â€œBut they did put the pins on, and you didn’t even notice,” Aunt Lily said in a tone that indicated this subject had already been discussed at length between the two of them.
    â€œWell, I had things on my mind,” Nasturtia grumbled in a weaker voice.
    Mari, who had been quiet up to this point, snorted disdainfully. “You may as well admit it,” she said. To Aunt Lily, she explained, “She told me that the clipper there was a doll, and she was all excited over him. That’s why she couldn’t think of anything else.”
    â€œMari,” Aunt Lily said reproachfully.
    â€œWell you needn’t sound so smug,” Aunt Nasturtia said petulantly to Mari. “Just suppose you tell how you went to the store with five dollars in your purse, bought all those things for Lily, and came back with five.”
    Aunt Lily raised one eyebrow quizzically and turned to Mari, silently indicating she would like an explanation.
    Mari glowered at Nasturtia for a moment before dropping her eyes to the floor. “Well,” she mumbled. “I met this sailor on the bus....”
    â€œOn the bus!” Lily was shocked.
    â€œIt was practically empty,” Mari said quickly, with a brief smile. “And we were all the way in the back. Anyway, he put his jacket over us, so nobody could see anything if they looked.”
    Nasturtia giggled triumphantly, and Lily only frowned her disapproval silently. Jackie coughed to hide his amusement, which was heightened by the crimson blush that flashed over Mathews face. The agent was finding the family a little hard to believe.
    â€œI think you’d better go on and finish your story,” Jackie said, heading off any possible quarrel. He was eager to hear the further details anyway.
    â€œOf course,” Lily agreed, giving both the other two ladies withering glances before she smiled in Mr. Mathews direction. “When Nasturtia brought Fritz in, with those awful little pins on his ears, I’m afraid I was a little perturbed. I scolded her, and then I took the pins off, but I was annoyed and I wasn’t too careful. One of them broke, and to my surprise, there was this note hidden inside it.”
    â€œI wouldn’t have read it,” Nasturtia said cheerfully, “But I thought it was a love note from the clipper.”
    Lily glowered coldly at her again, before producing a crumpled scrap of paper from her pocket. “To tell the truth, I wasn’t immediately suspicious,” she explained. “But then I saw it was in a code of some sort. That, and the fact that it was hidden, made me wonder. And then, there was the fact that it was a mistake—I mean, our getting the note.”
    â€œA mistake?” Mathews asked. He was watching the note eagerly, plainly impatient to see it. Aunt Lily, however, was intent on finishing her explanation before she handed over the note.
    â€œWell, it seems there was another woman there when Nasturtia
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