The Vampire Club Read Online Free Page A

see.” And she turned a meaty shoulder and stared ahead. Her nostrils flared once and I got a most unpleasant view into the depths of her nasal passage.
    We plowed through a rather dense forest. We had left behind what little civilization there had been. And then, to my right, I saw a cemetery. The sign was pretty trashed with graffiti. One line of red spray paint said “No loitering. Ha ha!”
    Finally, after the final bend in what might have been a road had there not been bushes and trees in the way, a white mansion slid into view. It was three stories, with peeling paint, loose shutters, and a creepy little cupola on top, and the whole thing was leaning about three degrees to the west. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. There were also two more Broncos parked in the front. I could tell the motto in this family was: The family that eats herds of bison together drives Broncos together.
    We parked and a couple of the warriors grabbed our luggage, and once inside, we were all grouped into the living room like stray sheep. Dial came over to us with one of his cousins.
    “ This is Perch. He will show you to your rooms.” Dial leaned into our circular huddle and whispered, “Perch is mute.”
    Buddy shot a glance at Perch, who was waiting at the foot of some stairs. “He’s tall and rather muscular and does posses a rather powerful personage, but I definitely wouldn’t say he’s cute.”
    “ Not ‘cute.’ Mute,” said Dial. “As in the button at the bottom of your remote control.”
    “ Mine’s at the top.”
    “ Same here,” I said.
    “ Could never find mine,” Janice said. “But I think he’s cute.”
    Dial breathed deeply and let it out in a long swoosh, causing a strand of Janice’s dark hair to scrape across her berry-like lips. I wasn’t sure if Perch could read her lips, but I was starting to get a little bit jealous. Everybody seemed to be cute and charming and studly except for me.
    But Dial didn’t like the goofing around. “I just wanted to let you know that you won’t get much of a response from him. He hasn’t talked since he saw his father killed as a boy.”
    Bummer.
    And I thought Corey Haim had had it rough....
    Dial left us with Perch, who then proceeded to lead us up a flight of stairs to our rooms. He stopped at the first door. He pointed to Janice, then to the room. She looked at him quizzically. His one eyebrow which stretched from eye to eye, working its way up into confusion. He again pointed to the room and Janice, but this time he rested his cheek on his hands like a slumbering baby, of sorts. Janice, who usually ended up on the negative side when our club played charades, shrugged again.
    Perch seemed thoroughly perplexed, if not a little pissed off. Once again he pointed to Janice and then to the bed, but this time he dropped to the wooden floor, curled up in the fetal position and stuck his thumb in his mouth. He looked up at Janice. She scratched her head.
    He jumped up in a single flop. He grabbed her bags and threw them into the room. They hit the far wall.
    “ Oh, is this my room?”
    He looked at us, fists clenched. A loud pulsating came from his chest as if his heart was working overtime. The pulsating, now visible, moved up along his sternum and into his neck.
    His mouth burst open. “No shit, Sherlock!”
    “ You don’t have to be rude,” Janice said, still calm and beautiful. “And congratulations on your miraculous recovery.”
    Perch, eyes once wide with rage but now surprise, looked at us with a new excitement. “I can talk! I can talk!” he said with an irritating repetition that I hoped would soon be corrected with more practice.
    He turned and headed down the stairs. “Excuse me,” said Professor L, “I don’t mean to dissipate your joy, but you forgot to show us our rooms.”
    “ Over there. Over there. Over there.” Definitely needed more practice, I concluded. He pointed on down the hall and then was gone. The loud, repetitive talking