The Unidentified Redhead (1) Read Online Free
Author: Alice Clayton
door in her face and fell onto my bed.
Right before slipped into sleep I thought about my sparkly boobies and laughed a little to myself.
The_Unidentified_Redhead
Chapter Three
The morning brought hellfire and brimstone…and that was just what I threw up. When I first opened my eyes, which took several minutes of prying through mascara goo, I knew that this day was possibly going to be the worst day of my life. I never, repeat never, have more than two cocktails. I simply cannot handle it anymore. I would love to pretend that I could still hang with the younglings, knocking back cocktail after cocktail and feel no pain, but that was no longer me. I felt the pain…oh how I felt the pain.
I attempted to get dressed, but gravity defeated me and I made my way out into the hall in an old button down Polo shirt, leaving my shorts on the floor of my bedroom where they had finally given up the fight. After repeated tries at balance, I made it down the hall, shorts-less, hugging the wall and then banister for support. I could smell coffee and like a beacon, I was drawn to it. I could hear Holly talking on the phone and I moaned at her damnable cheeriness. Holly never got a hangover…bitch.
“Yes, right now you're scheduled to do MTV on the seventh and then you have an In Style photo shoot on the twelfth of that same month,” she said, smiling at me while I poured myself a cup of coffee, wrapping my hands around the mug and inhaling deeply. I might feel human again in about a day or so. I burped and thought, well, maybe a few days.
“Listen, mister, do you have any idea how hard it was to sync up all the calendars for you guys? Half the cast is going to be there. You have to do the photo shoot on the twelfth. At least it's here in L.A. so there's no travel involved. Yes, I know this fall you'll have plenty of travel. Honestly, Jack, sometimes you sound like such a little bitch.” She laughed as she gestured to me to sit down.
Knowing I was on borrowed time with my legs supporting me, I sank into one of the comfy armchairs in her breakfast nook. As I sipped at my coffee, I thought about meeting Jack the night before and smiled thinking of what the other side of this conversation must be sounding like.
“She just woke up. Yes, she appears to be quite hung-over. Hold on, let me see,” she said looking carefully at me. “Jack is asking me to inspect your eyes to see if they look like…wait, what? To see if they look like cabbages?” She looked at me strangely.
“Tell Hamilton I said to suck it,” I groaned, letting my head drop down to the arm of the chair, oddly pleased that he remembered our conversation with such clarity and surprised that I did as well.
“She said, 'Suck it, Hamilton.' No, she really did say that,” she answered back as I laughed quietly to myself. “He wants to know exactly what he is to suck, Sheridan,” she responded, rolling her eyes.
“Tell Hamilton that he has it exactly right, he is to suck Sheridan,” I yelled, making sure he could hear, but splitting my own head open in the process.
“OK, that's enough of the telephone game. You guys can continue your last name foreplay another time. Jack, I'll speak to you later. What? Jesus, fine I'll ask her. Goodbye…I'm hanging up now.” She clicked her phone off and set it on the counter, looking at me carefully.
“What? What are you looking at me like that for?” I asked, realizing that I was grinning from ear to ear.
“You tell me. Why is he asking me about your sparkly boobies?” she asked, raising her eyebrow at me. I didn't answer as I lowered my head to my coffee mug, fighting to not smile wider.
***
Holly took good care of me that day; she left me alone except to bring me Sprite and Saltines. I managed to control the crumb fall-out this time. I pretty much stayed on the couch. After a day of hangover hell, I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up it was dark outside and Holly was gone. She had left me a note
Right before slipped into sleep I thought about my sparkly boobies and laughed a little to myself.
The_Unidentified_Redhead
Chapter Three
The morning brought hellfire and brimstone…and that was just what I threw up. When I first opened my eyes, which took several minutes of prying through mascara goo, I knew that this day was possibly going to be the worst day of my life. I never, repeat never, have more than two cocktails. I simply cannot handle it anymore. I would love to pretend that I could still hang with the younglings, knocking back cocktail after cocktail and feel no pain, but that was no longer me. I felt the pain…oh how I felt the pain.
I attempted to get dressed, but gravity defeated me and I made my way out into the hall in an old button down Polo shirt, leaving my shorts on the floor of my bedroom where they had finally given up the fight. After repeated tries at balance, I made it down the hall, shorts-less, hugging the wall and then banister for support. I could smell coffee and like a beacon, I was drawn to it. I could hear Holly talking on the phone and I moaned at her damnable cheeriness. Holly never got a hangover…bitch.
“Yes, right now you're scheduled to do MTV on the seventh and then you have an In Style photo shoot on the twelfth of that same month,” she said, smiling at me while I poured myself a cup of coffee, wrapping my hands around the mug and inhaling deeply. I might feel human again in about a day or so. I burped and thought, well, maybe a few days.
“Listen, mister, do you have any idea how hard it was to sync up all the calendars for you guys? Half the cast is going to be there. You have to do the photo shoot on the twelfth. At least it's here in L.A. so there's no travel involved. Yes, I know this fall you'll have plenty of travel. Honestly, Jack, sometimes you sound like such a little bitch.” She laughed as she gestured to me to sit down.
Knowing I was on borrowed time with my legs supporting me, I sank into one of the comfy armchairs in her breakfast nook. As I sipped at my coffee, I thought about meeting Jack the night before and smiled thinking of what the other side of this conversation must be sounding like.
“She just woke up. Yes, she appears to be quite hung-over. Hold on, let me see,” she said looking carefully at me. “Jack is asking me to inspect your eyes to see if they look like…wait, what? To see if they look like cabbages?” She looked at me strangely.
“Tell Hamilton I said to suck it,” I groaned, letting my head drop down to the arm of the chair, oddly pleased that he remembered our conversation with such clarity and surprised that I did as well.
“She said, 'Suck it, Hamilton.' No, she really did say that,” she answered back as I laughed quietly to myself. “He wants to know exactly what he is to suck, Sheridan,” she responded, rolling her eyes.
“Tell Hamilton that he has it exactly right, he is to suck Sheridan,” I yelled, making sure he could hear, but splitting my own head open in the process.
“OK, that's enough of the telephone game. You guys can continue your last name foreplay another time. Jack, I'll speak to you later. What? Jesus, fine I'll ask her. Goodbye…I'm hanging up now.” She clicked her phone off and set it on the counter, looking at me carefully.
“What? What are you looking at me like that for?” I asked, realizing that I was grinning from ear to ear.
“You tell me. Why is he asking me about your sparkly boobies?” she asked, raising her eyebrow at me. I didn't answer as I lowered my head to my coffee mug, fighting to not smile wider.
***
Holly took good care of me that day; she left me alone except to bring me Sprite and Saltines. I managed to control the crumb fall-out this time. I pretty much stayed on the couch. After a day of hangover hell, I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up it was dark outside and Holly was gone. She had left me a note
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