The Stainless Steel Rat Goes to Hell Read Online Free Page A

in my commhopper when I get home.”
    So much for the police and the authorities. It was time to get to work. I radioed for a cab, told the driver to have my own car returned from the Central Police Station—one of the perks of the rich is letting the menials do as much as possible—and planned each step of the action that must be taken.
    â€œLet me off here,” I ordered while we were still a kilometer from my house. I was too jumpy to be driven around in luxury. I wanted to walk—and think. I had the strong feeling that the police were not going to come up with any answers for this one. They had been out-thought right down the line. But could I do any better?
    The homes were luxurious, surrounded by brilliant gardens, the air rich with bird sound. I heard little, saw nothing. Though I was aware when I walked up the path to my home that the front door was slightly open. I had left it closed. Thieves? No way—at least they took care of the ordinary kind of crime on lovely Lussuoso. I was smiling as I banged my way in. James jumped to his feet and we embraced warmly. Or was it Bolivar?
    â€œIt’s James, Dad,” he said, knowing my weaknesses. “One day you better learn to tell us apart.”
    â€œI do. You usually wear blue shirts.”
    â€œThis one is green—you have to do better than that.”
    He poured a drink for me, his already in hand, and I reported the progress or lack of it by the police. Then he spoke the words we had been both avoiding.
    â€œI’m sure Mom is all right. Disappeared, yes. In trouble, undoubtedly. But she is the toughest one in the family.”
    â€œShe is, of course, comes up aces always.” I tried to keep the gloom from my voice, could not. He grabbed my shoulder, very hard.
    â€œSomething terrible has happened. But that Rowena
women said gone —not dead . So we get to work to find her and that is that.”
    â€œRight.” I heard the roughness in my voice; a sentimental old gray rat. Enough. “We’ll do it. If the diGriz clan can’t do it—it can’t be done.”
    â€œDamn right! I have a message from Bolivar. He should be here very soon. He was in a spacer doing a lunar geological survey. Dropped everything and should be in faster than light drive by now.”
    â€œLunar geology? That’s a change. I thought he had become a stockbroker?”
    â€œHe was—found it too boring. When he had stacked away his millions, more profits than those of his clients I am sure, he burnt his business suits and bought a spacer. What do we do next.”
    â€œTop up this drink, if you please.” I dropped into a chair. “Fill it with one-hundred-proof Old Cogitation Juice. We have some work to do.”
    â€œLike what?”
    â€œLike first forgetting about collaboration with the authorities. They have got this investigation completely wrong so far and can only get it worse.”
    â€œAnd we can do better.” He said it as a fact—not a question.
    â€œThat’s for sure. The bureaucrats are going to do an incredibly detailed and thorough search for this Slakey. We are not.” I saw his eyebrows rise and I had to smile. “If their search is successful, which I doubt, we will hear about it quickly enough. Meanwhile we want to find out everything we can about the Temple of Eternal Truth. We go to the horse’s mouth, so to speak. The church members will tell us what we want to know.” I waved the membership list I had extracted from the police with not too much difficulty. “There are three of these ladies whom we are very closely acquainted with. Shall we begin?”
    â€œAs soon as I dipil my face and get a clean shirt. I’m a handsome devil and have a way with women.”

    I sighed happily. Some might have called this braggadocio, but I saw it as simply speaking the truth. In this family we do not condone false modesty. “You do that. Meanwhile