damage.
I picture my auntâs body being electrified. I wonder if she was afraid. I wonder if she even had time to think about being afraid.
âWhat was she doing in a field?â I hear myself ask. Aside from a swimming pool, the dumbest place to be during a thunderstorm is in an open field. And the dumbest thing you can do while in an open field during a thunderstorm is carry a metal object. Everybody knows that.
Mom just shakes her head. âI donât know. Her friend didnât tell me much. She just said that they found her about an hour ago, and that the EMT declared her dead when the ambulance arrived. She wanted to be cremated, and thereâs going to be a memorial service on Wednesday.â
Lindsay and Samantha clear their throats uncomfortably and I spin around. I had completely forgotten that they were there.
âDr. Channing, Iâm so sorry,â Samantha says.
âUm, Erin, I think maybe we should go,â Lindsay adds.
âNo,â I shout, not really meaning to raise my voice. âYou canât ride your bikes home in this. Especially not after what just happened. Please, my dad will be home any minute. He can drive you. Just wait for him.â
Lindsay and Samantha look at each other, and Lindsay bites her lower lip, just like she always does when sheâs about to agree to something she doesnât want to do. My eyes are welling up with tears and I open my mouth to say something, but I donât know what to say. All I can think is, How is this happening? How can Kiki be gone?
The garage door opens with a low rumble.
âThere,â I say, feeling relieved that I have something else to focus on for a minute. âSee? Heâs home. Come on, letâs go upstairs and get your stuff.â
We trudge up the steps in silence, the three of us wincing as we hear my dad opening the door, and then my mom telling him what happened. Sheâs crying again.
âThis is so crazy,â Samantha whispers, putting her arm around my shoulder. âAre you okay?â
I nod, even though Iâm not. It all feels surreal, like itâs happening to someone else. Someone in a movie that Iâm watching. A bad movie.
âIâ¦itâs just, I havenât even seen my aunt in almost a year,â I stammer. My throat is clogged. âItâs just weird, though. It doesnât make any sense. I mean, Kiki was a lot of things, but stupid wasnât one of them. Why would she go out into an open field, with a metal umbrella, when thereâs been thunder and lightning going on for days?â
Lindsay starts to say something, but then hesitates.
âWhat?â I ask.
âNothing,â she says. âItâs totally inappropriate under the circumstances.â
âWhat?â I ask again. âJust say it. Itâs me.â
âOkay, well, I was just thinking that itâs kind of a coincidence, how you were just saying how boring your life is and that nothing ever happens to you, and now, you know, just out of the blue, this happens.â
I tilt my head, unclear as to where sheâs going with this. I notice that Samantha does the same thing.
âSo whatâs your point?â I ask.
âI donât know. Iâm just saying, likeâ¦maybe you conjured this,â Lindsay mumbles. âItâs all very strange and mysterious. Maybe you conjured the whole thing. Likeâ¦maybe this happened so that your life could become more interesting.â
I glare at her. I know she meant for that to come out differently, but still. I try to swallow, but the golf-ball-sized lump in my throat makes it difficult.
âSo, youâre saying that Iâm responsible for my auntâs death just because I happened to mention that I think my life is boring and that I canât come up with a good reason for why I want to go to Italy this summer?â
She opens her mouth and closes it.
âYouâre right,â I snap,