The Question of Bruno Read Online Free Page A

other.”
        There are records that Alphonse Kauders spent some years in a juvenile delinquents’ home, having set seven forest fires in a single week.
        Alphonse Kauders said: “I hate people, almost as much as horses, because there are always too many of them around, and because they kill bees, and because they fart and stink, and because they always come up with something, and it is the worst when they come up with irksome revolutions.”
        Alphonse Kauders wrote to Richard Sorge: “I cannot speak. Things around me do not speak. Still, dead, like rocks in a stream, they do not move, they have no meaning, they are just barely present. I stare at them, I beg them to tell me something, anything, to make me name them. I beg them to exist—they only buzz in the darkness, like a radio without a program, like an empty city, they want to say nothing. Nothing. I cannotstand the pressure of silence, even sounds are motionless. I cannot speak, words mean nothing to me. At times, my Rex knows more than I do. Much more. God bless him, he is silent.”
        Alphonse Kauders knew by heart the first fifty pages of the Berlin phone book.
        Alphonse Kauders was the first to tell Joseph
V.
Stalin: “No!”
    Stalin asked him: “Do you have a watch, Comrade Kauders?” and Alphonse Kauders said: “No!”
        Alphonse Kauders, in the course of time, told the following: “In our party, there are two main factions: the Maniacs and the Killers. The Maniacs are losing their minds, the Killers are killing. Naturally, in neither of these two factions is there any women. Women are gathered in the faction called the Women. Chiefly, they serve as an excuse for bloody fights between the Maniacs and the Killers. The Maniacs are the better soccer team, but the Killers can do wonders with knives, like nobody else in this modern world of ours.”
        Alphonse Kauders had gonorrhea seven times and syphilis only once.
        Alphonse Kauders does not exist in the
Encyclopedia of the USSR.
Then again, he does not exist in the
Encyclopedia of Yugoslavia.
        Alphonse Kauders said: “I am myself, everything else is stories.”
        Dr. Joseph Goebbels, talking about the winds of Alphonse Kauders, said: “They were akin to the wail of an everlastingly solitary siren, sorrow in the purest of forms.”
        One of the seven wives of Alphonse Kauders had a short leg. Then again, the other leg was long. The arms were, more or less, of the same length.
        In the Archives of the USSR, there is a manuscript which is believed to have originated from Alphonse Kauders:
    “1) shoot under the tongue (?);
    2) symbolism (?); death on the ground (?); in the forest (??); by an anthill (?); by a beehive;
    3) take only one bullet;
    4) the sentence: I shall be reborn if this bullet fails, and I hope it won’t;
    5) lie down, so all the blood flows into the head;
    6) burn all manuscripts => possibility of someone thinking they were worth something;
    7) invent some love (?);
    8) the sentence: I blame nobody, especially not Her (?);
    9) tidy up the room;
    10) write to Stalin: Koba, why did you need my death?
    11) take a bottle of water with me;
    12) avoid talking until the certain date.”
        One of Alphonse Kauders’s seven best men was Richard Sorge.
        Alphonse Kauders regularly subscribed to all the pornographic magazines of Europe.
        Alphonse Kauders removed his own appendix in Siberia, and he probably would have died, had he not been transferred to the camp hospital at the very last moment. And that was only because he had informed on a bandit in the bed next to his for secretly praying at night.
        Alphonse Kauders said to Eva Braun: “Money isn’t everything. There is some gold too.”
        Alphonse Kauders was a fanatic beekeeper. In the course of his life, he led fierce and merciless battles against parasitic lice that ruthlessly exploit bees, and are known as