The Problem With Heartache Read Online Free

drooped against the red sauce covering her pasta.
    “It’d be all expenses paid, in the States.”
    “America,” Mum repeated, eyes widening at me.
    “And on top of that, we’d pay you an initial …” I waited for it. I raised my eyebrows. “Two grand a month, for the two-month leg.”
    There it was. Surprise! The rock star couldn’t get his way with that initial charity proposal, so he was forcing it down my throat.
    “That’s a lot of money, hon.” Mum patted my hand again, and this time I pulled it away. She bit her lip. “We’d miss you a lot—so much—but I think it’s important for you to take opportunities when they come to you.”
    I pressed my eyes closed and ran my finger around the collar of my shirt. Even though it was only just coming on spring, it was suddenly hot in here. Too hot.
    “Be … good.” Dad echoed Mum’s enthusiasm, and I gave him a weak smile. He’d already sent me off.
    I looked back at Lee. “You don’t have to give me an answer now. But I’d really like to have you with us.” His eyes flashed with sincerity.
    “And we could use a new member on the team,” Benny said. “Someone with a feminine touch would be well appreciated, now Stacey’s staying here. Keep Lottie company.”
    “Lottie?” I furrowed my brows.
    “Our stylist.” Lee flicked his hand, as if the question wasn’t important. “Anyway, we fly out on Tuesday. Let us know if you want to go and we’ll talk to the record company about trying to employ you through their Aussie branch, so you don’t need to worry about a working visa and can hopefully swing it on just a visitor’s pass.”
    “Great. Kate will be in touch. Now, tell me more about yourself, Benny. Do you have a girlfriend?” Mum speared a piece of potato and popped it into her mouth.
    Conversation = closed.
    They didn’t need me here for the discussion. That was more than fine with me. For the last six months, I hadn’t really wanted to be here, anyway.
    I mentally checked out for the rest of dinner. It was getting easier and easier to do—closing myself off to the rest of the world, putting on a smile-and-nod show and counting down the minutes, the hours until I could be alone with my memories.
    Benny and Lee left straight after dinner, Lee handing both Mum and me cards with his contact details on them. I snatched Mum’s away and stashed it in my room, deep in my dresser. Left in her possession, my bags could be packed by sunrise.
    When the final clang of dishes stopped downstairs and the lights in the house dimmed, I pulled on my runners, lacing them up tight. I tiptoed down the staircase, careful not to disturb Mum and Dad. It was hardly an illicit activity I was out to do, but it was one they hated all the same.
    They didn’t like to see me running. It wasn’t good for me. I was too skinny, and running in the dark wasn’t safe.
    They didn’t know it was the only way I could get to sleep. That until I’d exhausted myself—pushed my body to the very limits of its capacity to feel, to hurt, to embrace pain—I couldn’t get there.
    I started at a slow jog, past the identical houses that lined our street, then headed toward the main road. My feet slapped hard against the pavement, the cushioning in my shoes not enough to stop the jolt up my legs.
    Pound, pound, pound.
    Lachlan. His face, his smile, his laugh.
    Pound-pound-pound .
    Making coffee, skinny-dipping, watching movies on the couch.
    Poundpoundpound.
    His lips, pressed to mine, his hands running over me, in the car, careening down the freeway.
    POUND.
    I doubled over, gulping in shallow breaths of air that were too thick to penetrate my lungs. The ache in my chest stabbed at me as if I’d been knifed, but the stitch was nothing to the ache in my heart.
    When I got home, I collapsed in bed, covered in sweat despite the early spring temperature. My hair was plastered to my forehead, my heart thudding at top speed.
    And still, I dreamed of Lachlan. It seemed nothing