able to. We wouldn’t have to move forward and could go
on like before.
Why did I come here tonight if I couldn’t
handle it?
Because all along, I’d felt the same thing
for him. I’d told myself I was using him to get what had been taken
from me during my defunct marriage, but I hadn’t just wanted sex
from Will. I wanted him .
I’d loved him from the start, but I’d been
too overcome with bitterness to face it. I hadn’t been fair. He’d
given me everything, and in return I’d given him everything but my
heart.
I panicked. I had to get back to him before
it was too late. Afraid that he’d had enough of me and that he was
packing his bags to go home, I gathered myself together, stood, and
ran with shaky, weak legs toward the hotel.
Terrified that I’d destroyed everything we
had, tears rolled down my cheeks. I ran through the lobby, into the
elevator, and stumbled onto our floor. The hallway was quiet except
for my frantic breathing as I headed toward our room.
I slowly opened the door. In the faint light,
I saw the covers rumpled on the bed. Will was still lying in
it.
Relief overcame me, but tears still flowed
down my cheeks. Trying to pretend I hadn’t had a breakdown on the
beach, I slipped back into the room and silently slid into bed
beside him. The room was quiet and still.
Everything about coming back in here felt
right.
Will stared up at the ceiling, not moving.
Without a word, I sidled up against his body and put my arms around
him. Still, he didn’t move. I closed my swollen eyes shut and
slowly began to plant kisses over his neck, his face, my mouth
damp, wetting his face with my tears. I buried my face in the crook
of his neck.
He’d always left me free to choose, to make
decisions of my own free will, and he’d never demanded anything of
me. Maybe because he knew that if and when I came to him, he would
have all of me.
He knew I’d come back. I’d had a
choice to make when I left, and he knew that when I came back into
the room, I would have made my decision. He knew I loved him all
this time. I couldn’t believe he’d waited this patiently for me to
figure it out all these months. Maybe he’d known I could never have
done all the things we’d done with someone I didn’t love, no matter
how much I pretended otherwise.
When I kissed him, sliding my tongue into his
mouth, Will came back to life beneath me. I said nothing, my breath
coming faster as he reached for me and pulled the tank top over my
head. He pulled me on top of him and planted soft kisses down my
throat and over my breasts.
I felt his arms wrap around my back, holding
me the way he always did, only I’d never paid attention to how much
tenderness had always been in his touch.
“I didn’t think it was possible for you to
love me,” I said. “I thought I could use you to get what I felt had
been taken from me. I told myself that was the reason I was with
you. But it wasn’t.”
He watched me, silent.
“You’re the only one.” I sobbed, taking his
face in my hands. I leaned down and kissed his jaw, his mouth. I
knew he understood what I meant when he kissed me back, a sweet,
generous sweep of his mouth under mine. I sank my tongue into his
mouth again and moaned softly when he sucked on it.
He rolled me over until I lay beneath him. He
raised my arms above my head and I gave myself over to him. I made
a silent promise to both of us that I wouldn’t look away.
We barely got the protection taken care of
before he nudged my thighs apart with his and slid inside me.
I shuddered, and when I moved my hips up to
meet his, he sank deeper. He kissed me, his mouth hot and
sweet.
I felt wild, excited, my arms around him,
stroking his back.
“Please, Will.”
When he didn’t move, I squeezed his cock
inside me and thrust my hips to meet his. That was all it took. He
matched my rhythm, moving slowly, the pleasure excruciating, making
me ache. When he moved faster, I matched him, and we moved toward
release