The Mammoth Book of Hard Bastards (Mammoth Books) Read Online Free Page B
Author: Robin Barratt
drink up at the end of the night. For three months I tried to be nice, laced my requests to drink up with politeness and respect, all to no avail. He obviously mistook my politeness for weakness and one late Sunday evening – in a fit of arrogance – he barged into me when I was collecting glasses. It was the final insult. My hat tipped, I invited him on to the tarmac.
The fight was short and bloody. Although my opponent was a black belt he was ill-prepared for the pavement arena.
When the paramedics were called I knew that I had gone too far, and my capacity to inflict hurt had astounded even me. I felt sure that he was dead when the ambulance took him away under a wool blanket and a flashing blue light. The veil disappeared and for the first time I could see exactly what I had become – or, more specifically, what trading in violence had made me. At home I contemplated a bleak future where the here-and-now promised only prison and the hereafter threatened a purgatorial darkness that I could not even begin to imagine. In bed I stroked the warm face of my sleeping wife. I could not believe how beautiful she was; she felt like silk. I got down on my knees and unashamedly prayed to God. “Give me one more chance,” I begged. “And I promise that I will turn my life around.”
It was the longest night of my life, with plenty of time for introspection. There is nothing like the threat of prison and eternal damnation to give you an honest perspective on liberty and life. I realized that I was blessed; a great wife, gorgeous kids and freedom. It doesn’t get much sweeter. And I was risking it all for a bastard trade that I had come to hate.
The next day I heard that my sparring partner had pulled through. My prayer had been answered. I kept my part of the bargain and shortly afterwards I left the doors for good.
I found a few things during my ten-year sojourn into the dark, often criminal, world of the bouncer: my courage – fear can be beaten by those with the moral fibre to face it; my destiny – success and happiness are a choice, not a lottery; and my limitations – we all need some form of invisible support when what we know as real starts to collapse all around us.
Perhaps ironically and more notably I discovered the futility of violence.
I also lost a few things, my first marriage and the innocence of youth to name but two.
Luckily – unlike many of my peers – I did not forfeit my sanity, my liberty, or my life.
Oh, and I got to walk away with both ears.
THOMAS SILVERSTEIN (USA)
The Most Feared Convict in the USA
Introducing … Thomas Silverstein
B ECAUSE MANY HARD , tough men are also extremely violent, many are, by their very nature, criminals and convicts. And most extremely violent men end up living the majority of their lives alone behind the bars and the concrete walls of maximum security prisons; for if you choose to lead a violent life prison is inevitable. Fewer in the US are said to be more dangerous or more violent than Thomas (Tommy) Silverstein, the first of a number of “infamous” prisoners featured in this book. Born 1952 in Long Beach, California, Silverstein has spent the majority of his life behind bars and at the age of just nineteen he was first sent to San Quentin Prison in California for armed robbery. Four years later he was paroled, but shortly after leaving prison he was arrested once again – along with his father and his cousin – for three more armed robbery offences and was then sentenced to fifteen years. Silverstein could have been a free man today but while inside he was then convicted of four separate murders (one of which was overturned) and since 1983 has lived alone in solitary confinement (he is on record as the prisoner held longest in total solitary confinement within the US Bureau of Prisons). Prison authorities describe Silverstein as a brutal killer and a former leader of the Aryan Brotherhood prison gang. His earliest theoretical
The fight was short and bloody. Although my opponent was a black belt he was ill-prepared for the pavement arena.
When the paramedics were called I knew that I had gone too far, and my capacity to inflict hurt had astounded even me. I felt sure that he was dead when the ambulance took him away under a wool blanket and a flashing blue light. The veil disappeared and for the first time I could see exactly what I had become – or, more specifically, what trading in violence had made me. At home I contemplated a bleak future where the here-and-now promised only prison and the hereafter threatened a purgatorial darkness that I could not even begin to imagine. In bed I stroked the warm face of my sleeping wife. I could not believe how beautiful she was; she felt like silk. I got down on my knees and unashamedly prayed to God. “Give me one more chance,” I begged. “And I promise that I will turn my life around.”
It was the longest night of my life, with plenty of time for introspection. There is nothing like the threat of prison and eternal damnation to give you an honest perspective on liberty and life. I realized that I was blessed; a great wife, gorgeous kids and freedom. It doesn’t get much sweeter. And I was risking it all for a bastard trade that I had come to hate.
The next day I heard that my sparring partner had pulled through. My prayer had been answered. I kept my part of the bargain and shortly afterwards I left the doors for good.
I found a few things during my ten-year sojourn into the dark, often criminal, world of the bouncer: my courage – fear can be beaten by those with the moral fibre to face it; my destiny – success and happiness are a choice, not a lottery; and my limitations – we all need some form of invisible support when what we know as real starts to collapse all around us.
Perhaps ironically and more notably I discovered the futility of violence.
I also lost a few things, my first marriage and the innocence of youth to name but two.
Luckily – unlike many of my peers – I did not forfeit my sanity, my liberty, or my life.
Oh, and I got to walk away with both ears.
THOMAS SILVERSTEIN (USA)
The Most Feared Convict in the USA
Introducing … Thomas Silverstein
B ECAUSE MANY HARD , tough men are also extremely violent, many are, by their very nature, criminals and convicts. And most extremely violent men end up living the majority of their lives alone behind the bars and the concrete walls of maximum security prisons; for if you choose to lead a violent life prison is inevitable. Fewer in the US are said to be more dangerous or more violent than Thomas (Tommy) Silverstein, the first of a number of “infamous” prisoners featured in this book. Born 1952 in Long Beach, California, Silverstein has spent the majority of his life behind bars and at the age of just nineteen he was first sent to San Quentin Prison in California for armed robbery. Four years later he was paroled, but shortly after leaving prison he was arrested once again – along with his father and his cousin – for three more armed robbery offences and was then sentenced to fifteen years. Silverstein could have been a free man today but while inside he was then convicted of four separate murders (one of which was overturned) and since 1983 has lived alone in solitary confinement (he is on record as the prisoner held longest in total solitary confinement within the US Bureau of Prisons). Prison authorities describe Silverstein as a brutal killer and a former leader of the Aryan Brotherhood prison gang. His earliest theoretical
Readers choose
Stacey Matson
L. M. Montgomery
Kurt Vonnegut
Amy Cross
Edward Marston
Nadine Dorries
Elizabeth Reyes
L. B. Dunbar
Michael Ridpath
Piers Marlowe