The Life and Crimes of Bernetta Wallflower Read Online Free

Wallflower children had. They’d even been given full scholarships to attend—kindergarten through twelfth grade—because of their mother’s job. So where would Bernetta go if they
expelled
her? What would she do? How could she possibly—
    There was a sudden puff of smoke.
    Bernetta gasped in horror as she realized that she hadn’t been paying attention at all, and with that gasp she took in a lungful of smoke. Then, instead of shrieking as she was supposed to, she began to cough. Bernetta clutched her chest and hacked, watching as the smoke dissipated from around her, frantically trying to locate the button with her other hand. But she had only the blink of an eye, and before she knew it, that blink was over. The smoke cleared, and the birdcage was still whole. And Bernetta was still inside it, coughing.
    She looked out into the audience with wide eyes, her hand on her chest. Then she turned to her father, and he was, as planned, holding a tiny yellow canary. She had never seen him look quite so bewildered.
    He turned to the audience. “Well, I—” he said.
    But he never had a chance to continue. Because at that moment another cough lunged its way out of Bernetta’s chest, and as she reached her hand up to cover her mouth, her elbow hit the button, and the cage clattered to the floor in a dozen pieces. And Bernetta, forgetting in her panic that the platform would be slipping out from underneath her, lost her balance and fell eight feet to the stage, landing on her side with a terrifying clunk.

3
    F ALSE DEAL n : an effect whereby a magician appears to deal the top card in a deck, when in fact a card has been dealt from somewhere else entirely
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    â€œAshley,” Bernetta hissed into the receiver. She pressed a bag of frozen peas against her throbbing ankle and tried to keep her voice low. The last thing she needed was for her parents to hear her from downstairs and know she’d sneaked into Elsa’s room to use the phone. The smart part of her brain was telling her to hang up so she wouldn’t run the risk of getting into even more trouble. But she’d finally gotten Ashley on the phone, and she couldn’t let her go now. “
Ashley Johansson
!
”
    Bernetta could almost hear Ashley yawn on the other end of the line. “Hey, Bernetta. What’s up?” she asked casually.
    â€œWhat’s
up
?” Bernetta repeated. “What’s UP? I’ll tell you what’s—I can’t even—how could you—” Bernetta felt like a fish, flopping around in the air, its mouth gaping open and closed. “You framed me,” was what she meant to say. “You set me up. You got me suspended, possibly even expelled. You made me so upset that I screwed up my dad’s best trick and wound up in the emergency room wearing
sequins
.” Bernetta had so many angry words inside her, it was as if they were fighting to see which one could get out first, but somehow all she managed to say was: “You’re my
best friend
, Ashley.”
    â€œAw, that’s sweet, Bernetta. Thanks.”
    â€œNo!” Bernetta hollered, then lowered her voice quickly. “That’s not what I—You
were
my best friend. At least I thought you were. But then you—you
framed
me.”
    â€œWhat are you talking about?”
    â€œYou know what I’m talking about. You knew my locker combination. You asked me that one time, and I didn’t even think about it. I just gave it to you. I’m such an idiot.”
    Here’s where Ashley would deny it all. Here’s where she’d say, “Seriously, that wasn’t me. You
are
my best friend, Bernetta, and you know I’d never do anything like that to you.”
    Instead, what Ashley said was: “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re not
that
big an idiot.”
    Bernetta’s mouth fell open. It actually fell open, like in the cartoons, when the dog’s