The Journal: Ash Fall Read Online Free Page A

you’ll have me back, Allex. If you
don’t want me back, I’ll ask for a transfer someplace far from
here.” His eyes told of the sadness he felt at the prospect of
leaving here.
    “Don’t want you?” I snorted. “Of course I
want you, John. I’ve been miserable without you. I don’t want you
here out of some kind of obligation though.” When he started to
interrupt, I held up my hand to stop him. “Do you want to be here?
Do you want to be with me? And will you promise to not leave like
that again?”
    He stood up from the table, and came around
to my side, taking my hand and pulling me into his arms again.
“Yes, Allex, I want to be here, with you. I… I...”
    “Spit it out, John, I can take it.”
    “I must confess that this scares me
spit-less. I love you, Allex. I won’t ever leave you again.”
    Love me? He’d never told me that before. I
kissed him lightly, and then sighed when he pulled me even
closer.
    “What shift are you on? When do you have to
report back in?”
    “I’m on rotation.” He grinned. “The two weeks
to see my daughter was out of sequence. So when I got back I worked
only two more weeks to be back in sync with my crew. This is our
normal time off, so they don’t expect me back for another ten
days.”
    Ten days. My heart was tripping over itself
with the prospect.
     
    * * *
     
    Inside the house, John looked around.
    “Something’s different,” he observed. “You
painted. It’s blue now instead of green. It looks good.”
    “A few weeks ago I decided I needed to make
some changes.” I took a deep breath. He should hear the truth.
“Everything reminded me of you. I had to do something so I could
move on. I repainted the TV room too, and the bedroom. I rearranged
the furniture, replaced some light fixtures. A few changes helped
pull me out of the deep hole I was in.”
    His face fell when he grasped what I was
saying. “I’m so sorry to have put you through all of this, Allex. I
really am, and I hope in time you will forgive me.”
    I hope so, too, I thought silently.
     
    May 5
    Tufts meowing in the hallway roused me from a
deep and restful sleep. I stretched and felt the body next to mine.
I rolled to my side and smiled into John’s sleepy blue eyes.
    “Good morning” he said and kissed me lightly.
I snuggled closer to him, my head on his shoulder, ignoring Tufts’
protests. Yes, it was a very good morning.
     
    * * *
     
    Over coffee and toast with jam, we discussed
the day. Some things just would not wait. I needed to finish the
fencing, and two of us working on it would make it go much quicker.
What would take me all day should only take the two of us a few
hours. Then I needed to rake out the garden and add the last of the
commercial lime. Every winter, I’ve added all the wood ash I
gathered from the wood stove to help balance the acidic soil in the
garden. I found myself wondering if it would be enough when the
lime ran out.
    We finished the new fences, and while John
made the gate, I inspected the perimeter fencing for winter damage
and made a few repairs. When I did the original fence, I started
with two foot chicken wire at the bottom because it was easier to
handle by myself. I buried six inches into the ground to keep any
animals from digging under, and then attached the remaining
eighteen inches to the posts I had set every eight feet. Once done,
I ran four foot fencing above the shorter fence, overlapping it
only slightly, and attaching the two together with small zip ties.
I loved zip ties, however, they did break and needed to be replaced
occasionally. I had a good stock of them, now I was thinking I
should use wire, if I could find any. There were things I had not
thought of to stock up on.
    We had an easy lunch of egg salad sandwiches
and tomato soup while planning out the rest of the afternoon.
    “What’s next on the agenda?” John asked. It
was good to see him enthused about this kind of work.
    “Well, the wire around the top of the