The Hero's Guide to Being an Outlaw Read Online Free Page A

and yanked the two barbed shafts from his back. “See . . . I’m . . . fine,” he wheezed between clenched teeth, his face twisted into the kind of expression you’d see on a poorly carved jack-o’-lantern.
    Frederic teetered, but righted himself. “Me, too! I’m fine. No fainting here.”
    Rapunzel shook her head. “I don’t know which of you is worse.”
    “Who did this to you, Gustav?” Frederic asked.
    “Bounty hunters,” he said. “Tall, homely guy with gnarly teeth, a pointy-eared guy with a bow, a beady-eyed one with giant trained ferrets, couple of others.”
    “Did you say ferrets?” Frederic asked. “People train giant ferrets?”
    “Never mind that,” Rapunzel said. “Explain the bounty hunters. What could a bounty hunter hope to get by capturing you?”
    “Um, untold riches,” Gustav said, looking at them incredulously. “Because I’m one of the most wanted men in the Thirteen Kingdoms.”
    “Wanted for what?” The idea was so farfetched, Frederic almost laughed.
    Gustav paused. “You two really don’t know?”
    Frederic and Rapunzel shook their heads.
    “Here,” Gustav said, reaching down into the boot of his free leg and retrieving a rolled-up parchment. “I pulled one of these off the wall of a butcher’s shop in Smorgsjürgen. But they’re everywhere. I figured you would’ve seen ’em by now.”
    He handed the paper to Frederic, who unrolled it and started reading.
    WANTED
    for the CRIME of MURDER:
    the SO-CALLED “LEAGUE of PRINCES,”
    the members of which are as follows—
    PRINCE LIAM of ERINTHIA;
    PRINCE GUSTAV of STURMHAGEN;
    PRINCE FREDERIC of HARMONIA;
    PRINCE DUNCAN of SYLVARIA;
    PRINCESS LILA of ERINTHIA;
    PRINCESS SNOW WHITE of SYLVARIA;
    the LADY ELLA, swordswoman of HARMONIA;
    and the LADY RAPUNZEL,
    mystic of STURMHAGEN.
    Frederic looked up. “I can’t believe what I’m seeing,” he gasped.
    “I know,” Gustav said, sounding offended. “Those girls aren’t in the League! It’s the League of Princes , for Pete’s sake!”
    “How could I be accused of murder?” Rapunzel snapped. “I’ve devoted my life to healing people!”
    “It doesn’t make any sense,” Frederic stammered. “And . . . and . . . whose murder?”
    “Read on,” Gustav said solemnly. Frederic unrolled more of the Wanted poster.
    The LEAGUE has been found GUILTY
    of the MOST CRUEL MURDER
    of HER MAJESTY BRIAR ROSE,
    PRINCESS of AVONDELL.
    “Oh, no,” Frederic gasped. “Briar has been . . . ?”
    “Apparently so,” Gustav said. “And some blasted bard wrote a song about how we did it. It’s all anybody’s been talking about for the past couple days. I can’t believe neither of you has heard it.”
    “This is beyond horrible,” Rapunzel said. “I saved Briar’s life just a short while ago. That snakebite almost killed her, but I brought her back. And now . . .”
    “It’s too awful for words,” Frederic said.
    “I know,” Gustav added. “I mean, she may not have been the friendliest person we’ve ever met . . . and she did force Capey to marry her against his wishes . . . and she did throw us all in prison for no good reason . . . and she did try to sacrifice all of us so she could steal a magic jewel and take over the world . . .” Gustav paused. “Sheesh, no wonder everybody thinks we did it.”
    “But there’s no evidence,” Frederic said, still rattled by the news. “I mean, there can’t be, since we didn’t do it. Who told the bards we were responsible? Who would set us up like that?”
    “And people really believe we’re killers?” Rapunzel asked, looking slightly green.
    “Based on the things they’ve thrown at me, yes,” Gustav replied. “Axes, bricks, flaming barrels—and those were just random farmers outside my door. The real bounty hunters didn’t catch up to me until yesterday.”
    A terrifying thought crossed Frederic’s mind. He read the last lines of the Wanted poster.
    ANYONE WHO DELIVERS
    the FUGITIVES—ALIVE—
    to the ROYAL