something.â
And the pressure would increase because they might take more of an interest in my success and my failures.
âTheyâll get it when you make the Olympic team,â Gwen says. âThen theyâll all be proud to know you.â
âBut then theyâll treat me differently. And theyâll ask me about gymnastics at school. And Iâd have a lot of friends who arenât real friends.â School is my safe place right now, my place to get away from the pressure, to be an average kid. I donât know how it would affect my gymnastics if at least half my life werenât normal .
âA boyfriend isnât practical, Charlie,â Gwen says kindly. âNot now. Not when so much is on the line. Not if you really want the dream.â
âOf course I want the dream! Are you serious?â Thatâs why Iâm keeping up this balancing act, because itâs helping me get there. I want the dream more than anything else.
Gwen falls back onto the pillow, smiling. âGood to hear. For a minute there, I thought Iâd lost you to being normal .â
âIâm planning to be anything but normal at the gym, so youâd better watch your back!â I punch her playfully in the arm.
âOh, I have no doubt.â Sheâs laughing. âI believe in you, Charlie. You got this!â She ducks sideways, clutching her sides with laughter, to avoid my second play-punch.
âYou got thisâ is our inside joke. Back when Gwen was in level eightâthe first level where a gymnast chooses her own routinesâat her Georgia gym, I guess someone from the crowd yelled âYou got this, Gwen!â right before she started a run on vault. She was competing with a Yurchenkoâround-off with a back handspring onto the vault, with a full flip off the vaultâbut she over-rotated and landed flat on her back. It was one of those catastrophic moments that brought an edge of superstition to Gwenâs competitive career. After that the phrase âYou got this!â became a serious taboo. When Gwen moved to Gold Star two years ago, we were all ordered not to say it.
âWeâre so close to making it,â I say, letting out a ragged breath of excitement. There are certain moments when I think about what weâre doing and how far weâve come, when the Olympics seem not only reachable but right at my fingertips. Thereâs a bubble of excitement that grows in my chest, making me so light that I could float to the ceiling.
âClose,â Gwen agrees, seizing my hand again and squeezing. âJust remember that youâve got to follow your heart, and right now, as much as I wish the reality were different, it canât go chasing after boys.â
My heart. What my heart wants is easy. It wants an Olympic gold medal. Itâs my brain that confuses things.
In the end, is my wanting to be ordinary going to cost me my dreams?
Chapter Four
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âAnd what did Coach Chris say?â Mom leans forward, a piece of glazed chicken dangling from her fork. Dad picked me up at the airport. Now weâre sitting around the dinner table. Iâve just finished telling Mom about my new series on beam.
âHe didnât say much,â I say. âYou know Coach. But I could tell he was happy.â
Dad grins at his plate. Heâs not one to say much either. âThatâs great, Charlie. Iâm proud of you.â
I canât help but smile. âBut that wasnât the coolest thing that happened. There was Gwenâs Kovacs! She has totally nailed it. I was so excited.â
âWhatâs a Kovacs again?â Mom asks. She and Dad are pretty good about keeping up with my gymnastics skills, but they certainly donât obsess about it. Since Iâve never even attempted a Kovacs, this is new territory for them.
âItâs that release move I was telling you about. Here, let me pull up a video.â I pick