The Evolution of Alice Read Online Free

stopped eating too. It wasn’t something they’d ever talked about. It wasn’t something Kathy had ever asked before. She knew where her ex was, about two hours away at Stony Mountain Penitentiary, and chances were, he wasn’t coming back from there for a while yet. He wasn’t one to get time off for good behaviour is what I’m trying to say. But it didn’t seem as simple as that, either. He’d get out some day. He’d probably try to shoulder his way back into their lives in some way, but not by being with Alice again. No. I think that sweet talk had worked too many times. She’d taken him back, he’d promised not to hit her any more, and then pretty soon he’d be laying hands on her again, bruising her up real good, like a cut apple left out on a countertop. If he did show up, though, just what would she do? What would he do? Alice told me thoughts like that were the ones she kept way down inside, deep enough to ignore, deep enough that she could pretend they didn’t exist. She said that sometimes she went all day without thinking of him. But when she did think of him, those were hard times. When she did, it was usually at night, alone in her bed, and she’d steal off into the dark and find her way into her girls’ bedroom, lying down beside one of them and spooning them real tight. A girl Kathy’s age didn’t need those kinds of questions, and she didn’t need to worry about the
whens
and
what ifs.
In the end, Alice decided on a simple answer, for the time being at least. There’d come a day where the girl might want to go visit her old man, if even just to yell at him or ask him why. That’d be a hard day, and those would bring the hard questions, the hard answers.
    “No, Kathy, he ain’t coming back,” she said.
    Kathy kept her head pushed right up against her fist for a good long while, and then finally lifted it back up and brought her dishes to the sink. She was good like that, always helping out around the house without being asked. She’d done that lots of times when Alice was in her bedroom curled up into a ball, shaking and scared, and that asshole had stormed off to get some air. She’d tidy up the living room or put away the toys, something to help her mom out. Jayne, she’d follow suit. She always did. She looked up to Kathy quite a bit. Grace, well, she was too young to remember anything. Alice liked to think she was the pure one, the baby who’d never be able to recall the anger and violence. Alice loved that about her. Her joy was real joy, untouched, without reservation or pretension. In that moment, Alice wanted to make Kathy feel good. She didn’t do that enough. There were never enough I love yous, never enough hugs or kisses.
    “You were always such a brave girl,” Alice said as Kathy went to grab Grace’s plate.
    Jayne picked up her own plate to bring it over to the sink.
    “What do you mean?” Kathy said.
    “You know, when Daddy got angry. You were always so smart, taking your little sisters and locking yourselves up in the bathroom. You’re a good girl.”
    Kathy stopped in the middle of the kitchen, Grace’s plate still in her hands. She looked confused. Her head even tilted like a little puppy dog, and it would’ve been cute if it wasn’t such a sad topic.
    “But, Mommy, I didn’t go there by myself. That man took me.”
    “What man?” Alice said.
    “Your friend,” she said.
    It all seemed so matter-of-fact to Kathy. She didn’t understand why her mom was acting so odd, why her skin turned pale, why she looked like she was about to faint. Jayne knew it, too. She was standing beside Kathy at this point, nodding her head up and down. Grace was nodding, too, because she copied everything the others did, said whatever they said, went wherever they went. Most of the time, this was a good thing. She already knew her alphabet and could sing “You Are My Sunshine,” in key even. But then, she also went off outside without telling her mom sometimes, just like the