The End is Now Read Online Free

phone calls, the hustling, the twisting and scheming, the smile
     he had to have plastered on his face forty hours every week, the nine to five, the long days without a sale. The blood, sweat,
     and tears would all be worth it if he could just get promoted to senior sales rep. Even better, he wouldn’t have to put junior
     sales rep on his business card anymore.
Junior
. It was so embarrassing. He was a father of two, he was a husband, and he’d been in the business world for a little while
     now. And he still had a card that said
junior
.
    Still, worrying about things like business cards and titles was an entirely new thing for Jeff. A couple months ago he didn’t
     care what was on his business card. He was just happy to have a job. Well maybe not just a job. He’d had lots of those — he’d
     been a farmhand, he’d framed houses, and he’d been an assistant manager at Señor Clucks.
    For his whole life he’d been paid by the hour. But he’d done whatever it took to survive. Jeff had been living in survival
     mode ever since his senior year of high school. It was second semester and he was ready to graduate. He was imagining life
     in college. He didn’t know what he wanted to study, didn’t even care, he just wanted to live the college life. He’d take all
     the easy classes and party for a couple of years; he’d get serious about his major and figure out life junior year. That was
     the plan. But then on one ordinary day, Amy came up to his locker and her face was pale. She was already pretty fair skinned,
     but on that day she looked almost translucent.
    “What’s up, babe,” Jeff said. He was wearing his letter jacket and chewing gum.
    “I’m late,” Amy said.
    “So am I,” Jeff answered.
    “No, I’m
really
late,” Amy said.
    He gently grabbed her elbow and smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll go to class with you.”
    “Is that your way of saying you’ll marry me?”
    “Wow. Um, okay, I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of commitment.”
    “Jeff, I don’t think you’re following — ”
    “Listen, you have history, right? Mr. Smith loves me. I’ll give him some excuse for why you’re late — ”
    “No, I’m late.
Late
, you know — ”
    Jeff stared at his girlfriend blankly.
    “ — Pregnant late.”
    And Jeff aged ten years. He’d never had a steady girlfriend, and euphemisms like
late
just weren’t in his vocabulary. But
pregnant
was.
    Everything came flooding in. He could hear a crying baby, smell diapers, and he could see a tiny messy apartment overstuffed
     with cribs and rattles and toys that blipped, blinked, and beeped. He could also see his college life disappearing. He’d never
     get to drink beer while standing on his head, never get to write a paper after thirty-six hours with no sleep; he’d never
     get to tie sweaters around his shoulders and flirt with sorority sisters. His next eighteen years were etched in stone.
    It didn’t even matter that he never really saw himself as the family type. He knew what the right thing to do was. And if
     he had any doubt, Amy’s parents knocked it away by insisting he make Amy an honorable woman. Jeff agreed that it was the reasonable
     thing to do. But as soon as they were married, he was just in over his head. All they could afford for a honeymoon was a weekend
     in Kansas City and when they got home real life began.
    Jeff didn’t know how to act in real life. He’d never been anything but a student. He didn’t know how to support a family or
     be a husband. There were a whole bunch of experiences like going to college that were supposed to get him ready for all of
     that. But there wasn’t time anymore. It was as if Rocky had to go straight to fighting Apollo Creed without the jogging in
     sweats.
    So from the moment Emily was born, Jeff worked whatever job he could to support his family. To make sure Amy and the baby
     had food on the table, clothes to wear, and a warm roof to protect them at night.
    At Hansley