The Drazen World: Release (Kindle Worlds Novella) Read Online Free
Author: A. R. Hadley
intention and our connection.
I would look into her deeply. I would see myself clearly. I would see inside the crystal blue persuasion of her eyes, past all the inexplicable bullshit.
I would see her need for me rise like a Phoenix from the ashes.
eight
JESSICA
I hated that word. Try. It was halfway. Almost. An excuse. If he tried to have a discussion about any of it again, I would vomit. Right over the ledge. Onto the specks of chairs and onto the pool on the ground, and I didn't do that sort of thing. I didn't vomit anything publicly. I could be anything I wanted to be, and right now I was only me. A woman on the ledge, perched below stars, on the outside of war.
I mourned the loss of meaningful discussions as much I loathed having them.
Would he try? Was he? We would try. Would we? I never needed to hear the word try again. The night he first brought up my existential fault, we spoke few words, but as far as I was concerned, they were enough to create a lifetime of hurt.
"We will try again," he had said that night, a beautiful delicacy on his lips.
It hadn't been long. Three weeks. Maybe four. I lost count in a haze of pain and blood and resolute confusion. Doctors' appointments. He had been patient and loving. He took care of me without asking the hard questions. None. I didn't know why he needed answers now. I didn't have any. I was full of numb where there should have been a baby.
"You heard what the experts said, Jon." I stood in the center of our bedroom, lost for a moment, forgetting what I needed.
"Are you scared?" he asked full of the sincerity I despised.
He thought I was helpless. Impassive. Unable to fend for myself.
He wanted to try .
I held my head high. My shoulders aligned with my hips. Nothing moved. Only my lungs. Maybe I blinked. We had met with the fertility specialists. The issue was closed. Not up for discussion. I wasn't afraid of anything.
"We are meeting your sister for dinner." I remembered the present. The room. Who I was. A lady who didn't need to give explanations. "I need to dress."
"I forgot. Which sister?"
"Jon. Really?" He liked to pretend he didn't know things, but he knew everything. Nothing slipped under his radar.
"I laid out a suit. I thought we could coordinate," I said, stepping into the walk-in. "Theresa," I called out.
"Right."
He joined me, sporting a shark of a smile. Big teeth. Ready to eat. He glanced at the suit spread over the ottoman and then at me. His shark teeth turned to a closed-mouth smirk.
"You look beautiful."
"I'm not even dressed yet."
"Precisely why you look beautiful."
He stood behind me with his hands on my hips and his nose in my hair. My fingers skipped across the tops of hangers and seams. I scanned the rows of clothing looking for the perfect shade of blue to match the tie I chose for him.
"What about this?" My hand stopped on a long turquoise maxi dress. "No. I'll look washed out." I looked too pale lately. I should switch out his tie.
"You have perfect nipples, Jess." His hand was inside my bra, his thumb stroking my nipple. "They are always hard." He pushed both lace cups aside. "For me." God. His whisper of a breath sent shivers to my spine, but I stayed neutral. He took ahold of my other breast. He caressed both nipples. My back arched. My eyes may have rolled into the back of my head.
"They are mine," he whispered.
His voice was a breeze across the ocean on a perfect day. I could feel the length of him behind me, rising, against my panties. He was hard. He would need to finish or the whole night would be ruined. I already took away the conversation. I denied him my feelings. I wouldn't deny him this.
He slid his hands to my waist and slipped his fingers inside the elastic of my underwear. He dug his nails into my hips. His fingers danced along my thighs, and when two of his fingers slipped into the front of my panties, I shuddered. He knew he had me. A sure
I would look into her deeply. I would see myself clearly. I would see inside the crystal blue persuasion of her eyes, past all the inexplicable bullshit.
I would see her need for me rise like a Phoenix from the ashes.
eight
JESSICA
I hated that word. Try. It was halfway. Almost. An excuse. If he tried to have a discussion about any of it again, I would vomit. Right over the ledge. Onto the specks of chairs and onto the pool on the ground, and I didn't do that sort of thing. I didn't vomit anything publicly. I could be anything I wanted to be, and right now I was only me. A woman on the ledge, perched below stars, on the outside of war.
I mourned the loss of meaningful discussions as much I loathed having them.
Would he try? Was he? We would try. Would we? I never needed to hear the word try again. The night he first brought up my existential fault, we spoke few words, but as far as I was concerned, they were enough to create a lifetime of hurt.
"We will try again," he had said that night, a beautiful delicacy on his lips.
It hadn't been long. Three weeks. Maybe four. I lost count in a haze of pain and blood and resolute confusion. Doctors' appointments. He had been patient and loving. He took care of me without asking the hard questions. None. I didn't know why he needed answers now. I didn't have any. I was full of numb where there should have been a baby.
"You heard what the experts said, Jon." I stood in the center of our bedroom, lost for a moment, forgetting what I needed.
"Are you scared?" he asked full of the sincerity I despised.
He thought I was helpless. Impassive. Unable to fend for myself.
He wanted to try .
I held my head high. My shoulders aligned with my hips. Nothing moved. Only my lungs. Maybe I blinked. We had met with the fertility specialists. The issue was closed. Not up for discussion. I wasn't afraid of anything.
"We are meeting your sister for dinner." I remembered the present. The room. Who I was. A lady who didn't need to give explanations. "I need to dress."
"I forgot. Which sister?"
"Jon. Really?" He liked to pretend he didn't know things, but he knew everything. Nothing slipped under his radar.
"I laid out a suit. I thought we could coordinate," I said, stepping into the walk-in. "Theresa," I called out.
"Right."
He joined me, sporting a shark of a smile. Big teeth. Ready to eat. He glanced at the suit spread over the ottoman and then at me. His shark teeth turned to a closed-mouth smirk.
"You look beautiful."
"I'm not even dressed yet."
"Precisely why you look beautiful."
He stood behind me with his hands on my hips and his nose in my hair. My fingers skipped across the tops of hangers and seams. I scanned the rows of clothing looking for the perfect shade of blue to match the tie I chose for him.
"What about this?" My hand stopped on a long turquoise maxi dress. "No. I'll look washed out." I looked too pale lately. I should switch out his tie.
"You have perfect nipples, Jess." His hand was inside my bra, his thumb stroking my nipple. "They are always hard." He pushed both lace cups aside. "For me." God. His whisper of a breath sent shivers to my spine, but I stayed neutral. He took ahold of my other breast. He caressed both nipples. My back arched. My eyes may have rolled into the back of my head.
"They are mine," he whispered.
His voice was a breeze across the ocean on a perfect day. I could feel the length of him behind me, rising, against my panties. He was hard. He would need to finish or the whole night would be ruined. I already took away the conversation. I denied him my feelings. I wouldn't deny him this.
He slid his hands to my waist and slipped his fingers inside the elastic of my underwear. He dug his nails into my hips. His fingers danced along my thighs, and when two of his fingers slipped into the front of my panties, I shuddered. He knew he had me. A sure
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