The Dice Man Read Online Free

.'
    I said. `Buttocks firm. . and you're ready to face life again. You can have an exciting morning: talking with Evie, discussing avant-garde art with Ma Kettle [our maid], reading Time, listening to Schubert's Unfinished Symphony: racy, thought-provoking experiences all.'
    'You [she scratched her nose against my chest] ...should mention that I could do coloring with Larry when he gets home from school.'
    `And that, and that. You've absolutely no end of home entertainments. Don't forget to call in the elevator man for a quick one when Evie is having her rest time.'
    My right arm around her, I walked us into our bedroom. While I finished dressing, she watched quietly, standing next to tile big bed with arms folded and elbows out. She saw me to the door and after we had exchanged a farewell kiss of less than great passion she said quietly with a bemused, almost interested expression on her face. I don't even have my yoga anymore.'

Chapter Three
    I shared my office on 57th Street with Dr. Jacob Ecstein, young (thirty-three), dynamic (two books published), intelligent (he and I usually agreed), personable (everyone liked him), unattractive (no one loved him), anal (he plays the stock market compulsively), oral (he smokes heavily), non-genital (doesn't seem to notice women), and Jewish (he knows two Yiddish slang words). Our mutual secretary was a Miss Reingold, Mary Jane Reingold, old (thirty-six), undynamic (she worked for us), unintelligent (she prefers Ecstein to me), personable (everyone felt sorry for her), unattractive (tall, skinny, glasses, no one loved her), anal (obsessively neat), oral (always eating), genital (trying hard), and non-Jewish (finds use of two Yiddish slang words very intellectual). Miss Reingold greeted me efficiently.
    `Mr. Jenkins is waiting in your office, Dr. Rhinehart.'
    `Thank you, Miss Reingold. Any calls for me yesterday?'
    `Dr. Mann wanted to check about lunch this afternoon. I said yes".'
    `Good.'
    Before I moved off to my patient, Jake Ecstein came briskly out of his office, shot off a cheerful `Hi, Luke baby, how's the book?' the way most men might ask about a friend's wife, and asked Miss Reingold for a couple of case records.
    I've described Jake's character; his body was short, rotund, chubby: his visage was round, alert, cheerful with hornrimmed glasses and a piercing, I-am-able-to-see-through-you stare; his social front was used-car salesman, and he kept his shoes shined with a finish so bright that I sometimes suspected he cheated with a phosphorescent shoe polish.
    `My book's moribund,' I answered as Jake accepted a fistful of papers from a somewhat flustered Miss Reingold.
    `Great,' he said. `Just got a review of my Analysis: End and Means from the AP Journal. They say it's great.'
    He began glancing slowly through the papers, placing one of them every now and then back onto his secretary's desk.
    `I'm glad to hear it, Jake. You seem to be hitting the jackpot with this one.'
    `People are seeing the light-'
    'Er... Dr. Ecstein,' Miss Reingold said.
    'They'll like it - I may convert a few analysts.'
    `Are you going to be able to make lunch today?' I asked. 'When are you leaving for-Philadelphia?'
    'Damn right. Want to show Mann my review. Plane leaves two. I'll miss your poker party tonight.'
    'Er . . . Dr. Ecstein.'
    'You read any more of my book?' Jake went on and gave me one of his piercing, squinting glances, which, had I been a patient, would have led me to repress for a decade all that was on my mind at that instant.
    'No. No, I haven't. I must still have a psychological block: professional jealousy and all that.' `Er . . . Dr. Ecstein?'
    'Hmmmm. Yeh. In Philly I'm gonna see that anal optometrist. I've been telling you about. Think we're about at a break through. Cured of his voyeurism, but still has visual blackouts. It's only been three months though. I'll bust him. Bust him right back to twenty-twenty.' He grinned.
    `Dr. Ecstein, sir,' said Miss Reingold, now standing.
    `Seeya