down. He held the rifle high over his head, unsure how deep his weight would take him into the water. The new logging road stretching above us toward the Scar must have diverted a creek to create a swamp in the hollow head of this small plateau.
Jason reached for my shoulder to steady himself and almost pulled me into the cold water. A spasm contorted his lower lip. “Good Christ, that hurts! This is the worst goddamn heartburn I’ve ever had.” I wasn’t sure if he was telling me or talking himself through it. I pulled away to stay on dry land as Jason slogged forward through water past his knees. He cursed the cold as it invaded his boots. After a few steps, he found his footing on a rising bar of sand. I heard a flutter of branches and leaves as he disappeared from my view. He let out a whoop and I knew he'd found the buck. I braced for another burst of gunfire but instead I heard a heavy thud followed by my brother’s surprised cry. After a moment of silence, a volley of shots.
“Joey!” he yelled. “C’mon! What you waitin’ for?”
I left my pack at the foot of a pine. I couldn’t avoid the water soaking me to my knees so I opted for speed. I waded through as quickly as I could and peered through the thicket, parting the way with my hands and body, choosing each step carefully to avoid more watery sinkholes. The deer’s head was a mess of blood and gore. I glanced and looked away. I refused to look at it directly and focused my eyes on the body instead. The deer was well-muscled and the short smooth fur was a perfect light brown.
Only when I noticed Jason’s hunting knife, unbloodied beside the deer’s neck did I look up at him. A deep gash marked Jason’s forehead above his left eyebrow. Blood ran down his face so thick he couldn’t see from that eye. He ignored his head wound, however, and grabbed at his chest and tore his shirt open. Though the skin was unbroken, a semi-circular bruise above his left nipple, was already turning black. Hoof print.
“I thought it was down and done. I was just going to walk up and slash its throat. The goddamn thing kicked out at me. I should’ve just stepped back and blasted it. Stupid! Stupid!” He stomped his feet. “I came up on it too quick. It was bleeding to death but it wasn’t dead enough.” Jason’s breath came in little gasps. “I was feeling shitty, but he really did a job on me. Real fighter. Good thing I unloaded on him.” Jason smiled despite his pain. “ Told you I could do it! We’ve got venison for the winter.” My brother’s triumph would have been better spent on Dad if his ghost was watching. I felt much worse for the deer than I did for my brother.
It was a heavy nine-point buck. Jason sent me back to the pack with the rifle. My brother’s sweat had wet and warmed the stock. I felt queasy. I tried to wipe a few droplets of his blood from the gun barrel but instead of wiping it off, it just smeared and dirtied my jacket sleeve. Jason tried to haul the deer on his own by the antlers. The water, the slippery ground and the animal’s weight colluded to bring him down. Jason’s fierce lips stretched wide over bared teeth as he fell. He would have cursed more but his breath became more ragged. It was as if Jason’s lung’s had shrunk. I wrapped my hands around the antlers, too, and pulled as hard as I could.
By the time we got the deer to dry land, we were both sucking wind hard. We managed to move the deer another few feet, though its hind quarters still dragged in the water. Our footing was sure again, but the dead weight was too much. Jason told me to stop and when I looked up, his eyes showed something new. I had seen his pain, but now there was fear, too. We’d made it as far as the pack and the gun under the pine tree. We could go no farther. Jason sank to his knees and clutched his chest. “Dear, Jesus! That—!” He paused and, cheeks bulging, almost threw up but swallowed his gorge. I watched as he fought the urge