The Damsel in This Dress Read Online Free

have no life. And they’re stupid. The live ones. They act irrationally.
I’ve read my share of mystery novels and crime thingies, and, given the facts you give, your conclusions are faulty. I find I do not buy them, sir! I would characterize your style, such as it is, as cold, impersonal, vulgar, and graph-ick!
My sincerest apologies if I have in any way hurt your feelings. I’m really a very nice person, but I’ve had a rough day. Somebody says they love me except they don’t and I’m frightened.
And then I got your message and I just feel it’s important to tell the truth. I’ve always been that way. People don’t always want to hear the truth and sometimes it serves no one, but I don’t know any other way. My father taught me that honesty is the best policy, but he’s been out of my reach for years now, so he won’t ever say that to me again, even though I can still hear his lovely voice in my heart.
Continued success on your writing career. I meant to tell you what a jerk I think you are for accosting me with your e-mail and demands for explanations, but now that I think about it, I just can’t do it. I mean, I do think you’re a jerk, but I’m just not going to say it.
Empyreanly yours, Betsy Tremaine
    Soldier looked up from the screen and blinked at his brother, who was laughing so hard he was drooling.
    When Soldier spoke, his voice was low and solemn, filled with awe at what he had just read.
    “Drunk,” he said. “She must be blitzed on her butt.” He shook his head. “I’ve read letters from Ka- zakhstani crack addicts that made more sense than this.”
    Taylor laughed harder as he read the e-mail again. “I think you should frame it,” he howled. “Hang it right next to the picture we drew of her.” He wiped the tears from his eyes. “God, this is a classic, Jackson. Maybe you can blackmail her with it.”
    Soldier shrugged. “Hell, I don’t know whether to put out a hit on her or give her a hug. The woman is in worse shape than I thought.”
    Taylor pulled up a chair. “Go for the hit. I’ll do it if you want.”
    “Very funny.”
    “You gonna respond?”
    Soldier widened his eyes. “What in God’s name would I say? ‘I’m sorry you’re a lunatic? Perhaps a little therapy would be in order here?’ ”
    Pressing the print key, Soldier watched as the laser jet rolled out a copy of the e-mail. He picked up the paper and folded it together with the picture Taylor had drawn. Shoving them in his pocket, he sighed. “Well, my life may be crap, but I’m a lot better off than Betsy Tremaine. Not only is she ugly,” he smirked, thinking of his brother’s artistic rendition, “but she’s nuttier than a Snicker’s bar.”
    However, even as he said the words, he felt uneasy. He sure didn’t agree with her reviews, but they had at least been well-written and coherent. Her e-mail had been okay, too. Something must be wrong. Perhaps she was just getting up there in years. Undoubtedly, she was a spinster and lived alone. Probably had a dozen cats, or some yappy little dog. The fact that she’d mentioned the police and that she was frightened bothered him, even if she’d been drunk or crazy at the time.
    Soldier didn’t know the woman, yet he felt a sense of connection with her. She didn’t like his books and had said so. No crime in that, except it had pissed him off. He knew the male ego had the tensile strength of a wet Kleenex, but he’d always thought he possessed a stronger sense of self than to let some little old lady from Nowheresville upset his apple cart.
    Abruptly, the thought that had been subtly nagging at Soldier for weeks pushed itself to the forefront. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he rested a hip on the kitchen doorjamb.
    “What do you think, Taylor. Should I go back to work full-time?”
    In the meaningful silence that followed, Soldier stepped away from the threshold and sauntered over to where his brother was constructing a towering sandwich. “Make me