The Cosmic Logos Read Online Free Page B

at her news. ‘Spiritually speaking, this is a very big deal,’ she added, hoping to stir up some sort of enthusiasm in him.
    â€˜I know … your research is the most important thing,’ he agreed, although his tone was that of a man rejected.
    Lirathea folded her arms, annoyed by his self-indulgent attitude. ‘I support you in your endeavours, Sparrow, I thought you might have been happy for me.’
    â€˜I am ,’ he admitted, albeit grudgingly. ‘I just wish —’
    â€˜I know what you wish,’ she injected, her tone soft and heartfelt. ‘And we both know it can never be.’
    â€˜Only me, Thea?’ he asked, unable to keep the desperation from his voice.
    Lirathea took a deep breath. Every time they spoke in this way, she felt herself on shaky ground, and having had a glass of Bahula, she was not thinking as clearly asusual. ‘I cannot bring myself to pour energy into something that can never be.’ She backed away from him a couple of steps.
    â€˜What kind of an answer is that?’ Sparrowhawk was offended by her cool indifference. ‘Are you afraid to just tell me plainly how you feel? Or do you think you are protecting me from myself by refraining?’
    Tears were welling in her eyes. Lirathea had wondered if this subject, which they’d been evading all their lives, would come to a head this evening. Perhaps she’d even willed it; in fact, she must have desired it for it to be happening at all. ‘If I could fall in love with you, I would.’ Her voice quivered as her emotions surged forth and she struggled to repress them. ‘But earthly love is not on my agenda.’ Her resolve hardened once more, and Lirathea held out a hand to keep her brother at bay. ‘My life’s ambition is a solitary one and must be so to be achievable. I am entirely devoted to the service of the Allied Logoi.’
    â€˜I understand that,’ he confirmed, frustrated with his lot. ‘But surely one kiss would not ruin your standing with the powers that be?’
    â€˜No … no it wouldn’t,’ she admitted, exhausted by the situation. ‘But it would be the beginning of the end of sanity, for the both of us,’ she concluded soberly, before turning and walking on.
    â€˜My sanity left me years ago,’ Sparrowhawk muttered under his breath.
    The sincerity of the statement took some of the wind out of Lirathea’s sails and she stopped dead in her tracks. After a long pause she finally spoke. ‘Mine too.’She turned slowly around to face him, ashamed to be admitting her secret when she’d sworn to herself that she would remain strong and pretend not to feel the electricity that danced between herself and her half-brother.
    Up until this moment, Sparrowhawk had never in his wildest dreams suspected his sister of lusting after anyone, and his heart soared with pride and joy to think that he held the affection of such a blessed creature. ‘We are in so much trouble,’ he uttered, straining to keep the smile from his face as they closed the distance between them.
    Lirathea held his face in both her hands. ‘I am going to miss you terribly.’ Her announcement was accompanied by a flood of tears, but she kissed him anyway, swept away by emotion.
    They endeavoured to express a whole lifetime of forbidden affection in that one kiss, both knowing the memory would have to last a lifetime.
    â€˜Is this one of my delusions then, dear sister?’
    The sound of Avery’s voice brought the heartstopping encounter to a grinding halt.
    â€˜You’re a sick bird, Sparrow.’ Avery approached to pry them apart. ‘She’s your sister!’
    â€˜Half-sister,’ Sparrow corrected, evading Avery’s attempt to strike him by backing away. ‘In ancient times on Gaia it was the done thing.’
    â€˜But we have supposedly progressed since then.’ Avery chased his brother further