The Cat Who Wasn't a Dog Read Online Free Page A

trying not to smear the arms of the chair with my sooty hands. ‘We all could.’
    â€˜Cor, you’re right. Soon as I finish this drink, I’ll do
something about it.’ Eddie spoke for us all as we reached for the drinks Cecile was sulkily passing around.
    â€˜Cor!’ Eddie swallowed half of his drink in one gulp and shuddered. ‘That was a close one!’
    â€˜Immolated!’ Dame Cecile wailed suddenly, almost causing me to drop my glass. ‘My little Fleur – immolated! ’
    â€˜According to Eddie, she wasn’t the only one,’ I said. ‘There was a human body in the back room. A dead one.’
    â€˜Ohmigawd!’ Eddie gulped the other half and tottered over to the drinks table to refill his glass. ‘Can’t you forget that?’
    â€˜I suppose you’re sure he was dead?’ Evangeline could always be relied on for a happy thought.
    â€˜Ohmigawd!’ Eddie whirled on her. ‘Don’t you start! That’s it – go and wash your faces. I’m taking you back to London!’
    â€˜Sounds good to me.’ I was more than ready to shake the dust – and ashes – of this place off my feet.
    â€˜You can’t go now!’ Dame Cecile was wailing again. ‘You can’t desert me when I’m bereaved and in a state of shock and have a show opening in a week.’
    â€˜For once in her life, she’s right,’ Evangeline said. ‘We can’t leave her. She needs moral support.’
    â€˜If she’s expecting anything moral from you two, she’s in trouble,’ Eddie muttered.
    â€˜What was that?’ Evangeline turned on him dangerously.
    â€˜Nothing. Forget I spoke.’ Eddie could recognize defeat when it was staring him in the face. He poured himself another drink and raised the glass to us. ‘Cheers!’
    â€˜I’ve forgotten my lines!’ Dame Cecile shrieked. ‘I can’t remember a single word.’
    â€˜You never could,’ Evangeline said. ‘Have another drink. It will be all right on the night.’
    â€˜It won’t! That’s the biggest lie in show business!’ Dame Cecile was a quivering mass of hysteria. ‘My hair! My face! My lines! My Fleur – my poor dear little Fleur.
She was my luck, my mascot, my friend! I can’t go on without her!’
    â€˜Well, we’re not going on!’ I was getting cross. The least she could do when she issued an ultimatum was stick by it. If she was never going to forgive us, why did she want us to hang around?
    â€˜Whatever we do,’ Evangeline said, ‘I suggest we have lunch first. It’s been a full morning and I, for one, am starving.’
    Lunch? Incredulously, I consulted my watch. She was right. Although the day seemed to have gone on for ever, it was really only one thirty. Come to think of it, I was getting quite hungry myself.
    â€˜Blimey, I could eat a horse!’ Eddie agreed fervently.
    â€˜No! I’m not hungry!’ Dame Cecile was off again. ‘I couldn’t eat a thing! Not when – ’
    â€˜You must eat to conserve your strength!’ Evangeline met declamatory style with declamatory style. ‘You have a Duty to your Public!’
    â€˜Yes …’ Dame Cecile allowed herself to be persuaded. ‘I suppose you’re right.’
    â€˜That’s settled!’ Eddie said decisively. ‘Now, in or out?’
    â€˜What?’ Dame Cecile was momentarily bewildered.
    â€˜Do we go out to eat or do we eat ’ere?’ Eddie asked. ‘Like, where’s the kitchen?’
    â€˜How do I know?’ Dame Cecile glared at him. ‘This is Matilda Jordan’s house. I’m a guest here while we’re rehearsing and then for the run of the play. So much more convenient than going back to London every night.’
    Run-of-the-play sounded quite grand if you didn’t know that the Royal Empire’s presentations