The Bravest Kid I've Ever Known and Other Naughty Stories for Good Boys and Girls Read Online Free Page B

through and it’s hard to stop yourself from playing them. I guess what I’m saying, FC, is that we need a holiday!’
    Father Christmas thought long and hard. Freddie had a point. But how could he possibly get all the toys ready on time if his workers took holidays now?
    And then it came to him. An idea. When you’ve been around for two thousand years, you do tend to pick up the odd trick or two — some of them just a little bit naughty.
    ‘OK,’ said Father Christmas. ‘How does a week off sound?’
    ‘Yes!’ they all screamed.
    ‘And,’ added Father Christmas, ‘you can all eat and drink as much as you like, because this giant slug won’t be needing it.’
    So the week began. The helpers’ first holiday in two thousand years. And they went crazy! It was party-time twenty-four hours a day. One of the helpers, Jacko, played seventy-three video games in a row. And Lucy watched TV non-stop for four days.
    And talk about eating and drinking! Little Tommy ate so many chocolate bars he thought he would throw up. And he did.
    Father Christmas was amazed at how hard all his helpers could party. But he didn’t stop them.
    ‘Another drink anyone?’ yelled Father Christmas. ‘Who’d like another sixteen packets of potato chips? There’s a TV set over there not turned on, I see.’
    And so it went, day after day. Until the fifth day.
    And that’s when the trouble started.
    Jacko had played so many video games that each time he went to the toilet, he pushed the flush button fifteen times. He was almost into the highest level of his favourite game when Little Tommy tripped on a chair leg and tipped pineapple cordial all over the screen.
    ‘You idiot!’ screamed Jacko. ‘It’s taken me five days to get this high.’
    ‘Sorry about the cordial,’ replied Tommy, ‘but you’re the idiot. That game’s easy!’
    ‘Oh, yeah,’ said Jacko, ‘prove it!’
    ‘No way,’ yelled Lucy. ‘I’m next. I’ve been waiting all morning.’
    ‘But we’ve got hundreds of video games!’ said Jacko.
    ‘Well, I want this one,’ said Lucy. ‘It’s nearest the heater and I get cold when I’m not working.’
    ‘Go and do some work then,’ said Jacko. ‘It’s all you’re good for, anyway.’
    ‘Always wondered what you really thought of me, butthead,’ said Lucy.
    ‘Who are you calling butthead?’ said Jacko. ‘Poo-face!’
    With that, Lucy grabbed the video game control stick and broke it in half. ‘Look,’ she said. ‘Two control sticks. Now you can both play.’
    ‘I’ll smash you for that!’ shouted Jacko.
    Meanwhile, other helpers were starting to fight, too, and the noise was unbelievable. Finally, Freddie screamed, ‘Stop it! What has happened to us all? This is supposed to be a holiday! Fun!’
    ‘Yeah,’ said Jacko, ‘but idiot Lucy just broke the control stick —’
    ‘I don’t want to hear,’ yelled Freddie. ‘It’s not Lucy, it’s all of us. We’ve all had too much of a good thing. It’s made us greedy and nasty. We’ve forgotten why we decided to help old FC in the first place — because we all knew there was more pleasure in giving than receiving, remember?’
    Yes, they did remember. They hung their heads in shame.
    ‘Where is FC?’ asked Jacko.
    ‘Out the back, I think,’ said Freddie. ‘Working. Trying to catch up.’

    Sure enough, Father Christmas was in his office, wrapping presents just as fast as he could. He looked tired and hungry.
    ‘How’s the holiday?’ asked Father Christmas.
    ‘It’s over,’ said Freddie, ‘and we’re ready to work our butts off, aren’t we, gang?’
    ‘Yeah!’ they all shouted.
    Father Christmas smiled to himself, and, as his helpers happily rolled up their sleeves and got back to work, he sneaked out to the kitchen and cracked open a can of beer. Against the doctor’s orders, of course, but who wants a skinny Father Christmas?
    Two pies with sauce and another can of beer later, Father Christmas grabbed his coat, rang for a taxi