The Big Bang Read Online Free Page A

househusband craw. He was sure to shit another pointless brick when he found out his current cause célèbre, the mega-playground land, had already been earmarked for a more lofty purpose: The Melody Mountain Community Church.
    Having dreamed of, planned for, and then uprooted his family from Colorado Springs specifically for the spiritual leadership opportunity in South Metro Denver, the mere idea of finally breaking ground on a real live brick and mortar (or stucco for that matter) dream church sent a chill through him more intense than any desire of the flesh.
    Despite P-C’s objections, the plan was a true win-win. After double-digit months of commercial zoning issues on the super-playground land Henderson Homes mandated in the original covenant documents, they would get what they wanted—an amendment that allowed for multiple smaller playgrounds in satellite locations. In return, Henderson Homes agreed to sell the now vacant property to the Melody Mountain Church at a price well under market. The sweetheart deal included builder financing and was sealed with the twenty-three grand in the church building fund as earnest money. Frank even managed to finagle a ninety-day closing to rustle the remaining seventeen thousand he needed from his flock.
    By that time, the neighborhood children would be happily ensconced in summer play and no one but his delighted parishioners and Pierce-Cohn would care anymore about the switch.
    “Roll call,” Frank said, to get the proceedings moving along before the honorable Mrs. Pierce-Cohn came home to spring her man from household Hades. If she really cared about family and community as much as she claimed, she’d resign from the state legislature and send her desperate househusband back to work.
    Not that Frank was worried.
    Once the community saw the new recreation space arrangement they’d hammered out, ratification, technically a formality since he’d already signed the paperwork, would be a foregone conclusion. “Chair is, of course, present.”
    A handful of covenant breakers and complainers already had their hands in the air.
    He looked past a repeat offender from Allegro Meadow Drive, fined again for leaving his boat in excess of forty-eight hours in front of the house, and nodded to the first-time violator to the man’s right.
    “I received a citation for shampooing the carpet on my front driveway and…”
    “To my knowledge, wall-to-wall is typically cleaned inside the house.”
    “Not when the padding’s moldy and has to be replaced while the carpet’s being treated.”
    “Wouldn’t a mold problem override covenant restrictions?” Roseanne Goldberg, neighborhood expert on all things scientifically dubious, added.
    “I’m not sure there is a section that refers to indoor carpet cleaning done outdoors,” Frank said. He couldn’t allow one of her diatribes to give Pierce-Cohn time to arrive and derail the evening’s important business. “But I agree an exemption may be in order until we investigate further.”
    Both the violator and Mrs. Goldberg nodded and took their seats.
    “In fact, I’ve decided to pardon all of tonight’s attendees from fines associated with their infractions—assuming proof of compliance is provided within ninety days.”
    Hands went down and sighs of unanticipated grace filled the room.
    He pretended to scan for other raised hands. “As there appear to be no further questions, I’ll continue with roll call. Officers?”
    Over a chorus of present, Frank nodded to his energetic, industrious treasurer. With her Christian spirit and can-do attitude, Jane Hunt was a bright spot on the board. Why her ex-husband decided to become a woman on her was a true mystery. “Ms. Hunt, would you please review the minutes from the last meeting?”
    He hopped off the riser behind the podium and sat before she could stand to full height.
    With an upward adjustment of the microphone, Jane began to cite the previous month’s minutes. “Our last