The Best Kept Secret In Normandy Read Online Free
Author: Liz Newman
and leave 'em."
"Sure," Tammy said absentmindedly, as she typed a quick text to Francois on the ride home.
Chapter Four
Louis. His name popped into my head the moment I woke up. A pang of guilt made my stomach sink as I recalled the forlorn look in his eyes as I laughed at him and danced away. The memory of my laughter sounded like the braying of a donkey.
I swung my legs over to the side of the bed. No, dragged was more like it. My thighs stuck together with the customary sweat that plagued me as I slept. T he floorboards creaked under me when I rose out of bed as the mattress groaned in relief. A feeling of despair punched me in the stomach. Fat, hideous me stared back in the mirror. Tammy and I walked down the row of boutiques on the Right Bank, returning clothes to their proper stores. The salesladies gave me only a glance, perhaps thinking I was the ugly sister of the beautiful woman who shopped there yesterday.
The day before New Year's we flew home. "I'll always think you're beautiful," Tammy said. "No matter what."
I snorted. "Yeah. That's easy for you to say. Everybody thinks you're gorgeous. Everybody thinks I'm a whale. Look at me. I'm so fat if I was holding a basket people would think I was a hot air balloon."
" You're not that big. Anyway, who cares what people think?"
"You, obviously. With your haute couture and your perfect make up and teeny weeny little body." My eyes filled with tears.
Tammy's head swung away from me, and then snapped back. She grimaced, with one side of her lips curled closer to her cheekbone. She was pissed. "Maybe you think I don't have image issues, but I'm going to tell you that no one is treated like a beautiful person every day of her life. I had an awkward stage, too. Once when I was on the pay phone with my mother, who forgot to pick me up because we had a half day at school and she was too drunk to remember. A bunch of kids came by and every time I spoke into the receiver, they yelled 'You're ugly, girl! You're ugly!''
"You never told me about that."
" You know why? Because I didn't believe them. I told myself I was beautiful, I visioned how I wanted to look while remembering what I had to work with. I don't look outside for approval anymore. I'm just me, and if someone steps up and tells me I shouldn't love who I am then I unleash hell. And I feel damn good about it. So don't cry about how look. If you don't like it, change it. You are who you believe you are, every day. You spent one day being the most beautiful woman in a room full of the world's most beautiful people and that's an experience that ninety-nine point nine percent of the world will never have."
"You've had it."
"Yep. And I'm grateful."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm attacking you and I shouldn't be. It's my own fault I'm disgusting."
"I forgive you. Only if you stop thinking like such a loser. You're better than that, Ceci. Do yourself some justice, and if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the people who care about you and wish you'd just stop being so mean to yourself. Mean is contagious, you know." She flipped open a magazine to signal the end of the discussion.
* * *
On New Year's Day, I shoved boxes of processed foods, cookies, and unhealthy snacks into a trash bag, slamming down the lid of the garbage can. I sat down on an overturned recycling bin with my mouth opening to give myself some sort of pep talk.
A stray cat curled around my legs and meowed. I rubbed the kitty under the scruff of its neck. "Saying goodbye to all of that junk is like letting go of someone you love who treats you like crap," I said to the cat. The cat blinked green eyes at me. "I suppose I can understand why I'll never see Louis again. Why would he want someone duplicitous? Would I?" The cat jumped on my lap, curled its little mouth into a smile and winked. I placed a plate of food out for the stray and named him Prince. "Would you?" I rubbed the underside of his chin. "Of course not. Maybe if I kissed you, you'd
"Sure," Tammy said absentmindedly, as she typed a quick text to Francois on the ride home.
Chapter Four
Louis. His name popped into my head the moment I woke up. A pang of guilt made my stomach sink as I recalled the forlorn look in his eyes as I laughed at him and danced away. The memory of my laughter sounded like the braying of a donkey.
I swung my legs over to the side of the bed. No, dragged was more like it. My thighs stuck together with the customary sweat that plagued me as I slept. T he floorboards creaked under me when I rose out of bed as the mattress groaned in relief. A feeling of despair punched me in the stomach. Fat, hideous me stared back in the mirror. Tammy and I walked down the row of boutiques on the Right Bank, returning clothes to their proper stores. The salesladies gave me only a glance, perhaps thinking I was the ugly sister of the beautiful woman who shopped there yesterday.
The day before New Year's we flew home. "I'll always think you're beautiful," Tammy said. "No matter what."
I snorted. "Yeah. That's easy for you to say. Everybody thinks you're gorgeous. Everybody thinks I'm a whale. Look at me. I'm so fat if I was holding a basket people would think I was a hot air balloon."
" You're not that big. Anyway, who cares what people think?"
"You, obviously. With your haute couture and your perfect make up and teeny weeny little body." My eyes filled with tears.
Tammy's head swung away from me, and then snapped back. She grimaced, with one side of her lips curled closer to her cheekbone. She was pissed. "Maybe you think I don't have image issues, but I'm going to tell you that no one is treated like a beautiful person every day of her life. I had an awkward stage, too. Once when I was on the pay phone with my mother, who forgot to pick me up because we had a half day at school and she was too drunk to remember. A bunch of kids came by and every time I spoke into the receiver, they yelled 'You're ugly, girl! You're ugly!''
"You never told me about that."
" You know why? Because I didn't believe them. I told myself I was beautiful, I visioned how I wanted to look while remembering what I had to work with. I don't look outside for approval anymore. I'm just me, and if someone steps up and tells me I shouldn't love who I am then I unleash hell. And I feel damn good about it. So don't cry about how look. If you don't like it, change it. You are who you believe you are, every day. You spent one day being the most beautiful woman in a room full of the world's most beautiful people and that's an experience that ninety-nine point nine percent of the world will never have."
"You've had it."
"Yep. And I'm grateful."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm attacking you and I shouldn't be. It's my own fault I'm disgusting."
"I forgive you. Only if you stop thinking like such a loser. You're better than that, Ceci. Do yourself some justice, and if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the people who care about you and wish you'd just stop being so mean to yourself. Mean is contagious, you know." She flipped open a magazine to signal the end of the discussion.
* * *
On New Year's Day, I shoved boxes of processed foods, cookies, and unhealthy snacks into a trash bag, slamming down the lid of the garbage can. I sat down on an overturned recycling bin with my mouth opening to give myself some sort of pep talk.
A stray cat curled around my legs and meowed. I rubbed the kitty under the scruff of its neck. "Saying goodbye to all of that junk is like letting go of someone you love who treats you like crap," I said to the cat. The cat blinked green eyes at me. "I suppose I can understand why I'll never see Louis again. Why would he want someone duplicitous? Would I?" The cat jumped on my lap, curled its little mouth into a smile and winked. I placed a plate of food out for the stray and named him Prince. "Would you?" I rubbed the underside of his chin. "Of course not. Maybe if I kissed you, you'd
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