The Adventures of Caterwaul the Cat Read Online Free

who I am, and yet already you judge me. You assume automatically that you don’t like me.”
    He tilted his head to one side and laughed. “Your first instinct is to call your guards and drive me away. I’d have thought that you’d have had enough of that already, considering the only living things still around you are on the payroll.”
    He looked up at her as if to introduce himself. “I am furry, but I am not vagabond.” He ran his tongue his tongue over his paw. “All I need is a bit of grooming, that’s all. You know, I’d love to see what you’d look like after twenty days on the run through the dense jungle.
    â€œAnd without a rest too,” he continued. “A good brushing and a few squares under my skin, and I could pass for feline royalty, a companion fit for the Egyptian Pharaohs of old.”
    This apparently was a bit much for Druciah, who had gotten her wind back. She began to laugh. “You . . . royalty? Don’t make me laugh. A companion for the Pharaohs? More likely a companion for plague fleas.” Having found her voice, she called to her guards. “We have an unwanted visitor.”
    Three uniformed guards emerged into the room, one carting a bag made of woven grass. The next ten minutes were an exercise in futility with all three guards stumbling awkwardly about the room unable to capture the animal.
    â€œI thought since this castle was called Cathoon, I would be welcome here. I guess I was wrong,” the feline said. “Why are you so determined not to like me?” He made a series of three hops, which accented the incompetence of her guards.
    â€œWhat if I told you I was an enchanted cat?” he inquired as he artfully dodged the approaching arms of one of the queen’s clumsy retainers.
    â€œEnchanted? Really? What powers do you possess?” she asked him. “I have spells like recipes in a cookbook. What can your enchantments give me that I don’t already have?”
    The black cat laughed. “Are you serious?” he asked as he leaped from a table to the top of a chest of drawers. “It seems to me that people must not like your recipes at all! How else can you explain the lack of hospitality here? From what I see, most people avoid this place like the plague!” He leaped onto a shelf behind her.
    â€œOh and for the record . . . plague fleas travel on black rats, not black cats.” He jumped again, narrowly avoiding the stumbling guard who almost knocked the queen down. “If you want to avoid catching the plague, a furry friend like me could come in pretty handy.”
    Druciah countered, “I have no need for a cat. There haven’t been any rats around here in ages. No rats nor moles, mice nor voles. My castle is clear of vermin of any kind, unless of course you include present company.”
    The feline glanced at the stumbling guards, assuming it was they, and not he, she referred to. “No rats!” he exclaimed as he ran across the shoulders of one of the guards. “I am glad to hear that. I am much too valuable an animal to waste my time chasing vermin. Plus they taste terrible, unless, of course, they are prepared by a really gifted chef. As far as I’m concerned, I could go the rest of my life without seeing another rat.”
    Druciah seemed as though she wanted to say something, but the cat continued his rant.
    â€œYou ever try to have a conversation with a rat? They have absolutely nothing to talk about. And most of them are just awful people . . . and dirty. You don’t want to know about it.” He landed delicately on the windowsill. “No grooming habits whatsoever.” He took the time to clean his front paws again with a few quick licks.
    â€œAnd I swear, if I have to hear one more time about which sewers have the best . . . ” he jumped again, “ . . . selection of wriggly things to eat, I think I will just lose my lunch. You know, a