Tales From the Crib Read Online Free

light wood that continued up the rails and on to the upper floors. On the brick wall, my mother hung a dark-blue neon light outline of the Manhattan skyline. The rest of the space was covered with posters of shows she produced.
    My mother owns the Drama Queen bookstore in the theatre district and has the Midas touch when it comes to producing off-Broadway gay theatre. Her most recent success was with the all-male musical Oklahomo! The entire cast was clad in tight leather overalls or fringed chaps.
    Jack and I rented an apartment in my mother’s building for the first eleven years of our marriage, but then he insisted that we make a “real” home for JJ. My mother hardly comes to see us because she claims she’s allergic to the suburbs. She also is lactose intolerant, and sneezes uncontrollably in the presence of flowers that aren’t for her. We visit her every month or so, enjoy a slice of Ray’s Pizza from the corner, then drive back to the house in the suburbs we bought for our ghost baby.
    The night I announced my pregnancy, Jack offered what he called a radical idea. I called it insanity. “It’s not like we hate each other, Lucy. Look, the marriage has ended, but we get along well enough to be around each other.”
    For the most part, I didn’t say.
    “Let’s stay married, live together as friends, you know, do our own thing, and raise the baby together.”
    “Do what?”
    “Look, I said it was a radical idea,” he shot back. “Didn’t you see the article in the Times a few months ago about how couples couldn’t afford to divorce anymore because running two households was cost-prohibitive? Plus they had children they didn’t want to upset, so they hung out together till the kids went to college. Co-parenting, they called it. Everyone seemed pretty happy with the deal.”
    “Jack, have you lost your mind?!”
    “Lucy, I don’t want to be a Sunday father.” I knew his father left Jack’s family when he was eight, visited every other Sunday for three years, then remarried and disappeared into his new life. Jack hears from his father once every few years when something major happens, like a wedding or a funeral. I knew Jack’s greatest fear in becoming a father was becoming his father, too busy with other things to care about his children’s lives.
    “Jack, you can visit the baby any time you want. We can share custody.”
    “I don’t want to share custody. I want to be there every day. Seriously, Lucy, be practical. Where are you going to live? Anjoli has three-year leases on all those apartments. What about health insurance?”
    This pissed me off! Where was I supposed to live when I wasn’t carrying his child? Didn’t he care about my dependence on his health insurance when it was just me?
    “Come on, Lucy! It’s the perfect solution and you know it. We each have a built-in babysitter for when we go out. We’ve got a friend in the house to help. You’ll do the child care. I’ll pay three-quarters of the bills. Hey, you can finally write your novel with all your spare time.”
    “Jack, you can’t bribe me like this!”
    “How can I bribe you, then?”
    “You said you wanted a divorce. Now you suddenly want to be my husband again?!”
    “No,” he answered too quickly. “I don’t want to be your husband. I want to be a full-time father to our baby, and want to make you an offer that will suit your needs as well as mine. I think it’s a fair deal.”
    Why couldn’t he see that being asked for a divorce is an unsteadying event? I needed time to absorb the rejection I felt. All he wanted to do was close the deal.
    “I don’t want a divorce,” he said.
    “You did ten minutes ago.”
    “Things are different now.”
    “Because of the baby?”
    “Well, yes, because of the baby. If everything . . .” he trailed off.
    “Go ahead, you can say it.”
    “Say what?”
    “Jack, you were about to say that if everything goes well this time.”
    “No, I wasn’t. Come on, Luce, let’s