despite myself.
Then I shrug.
“Find out what he wants. Then you guys do what you need to do,” I say finally.
I’m not sure what I mean or if I mean it.
I just know I have to say something , and it can’t be, “Why does in here smell so weird?” or “Babe, I can definitely handle all of Travis’s needs.”
I need to let things go back to normal, naturally.
V.
TRAVIS
T here’s no fucking way I can stay away from Lisa—no way in hell. My cock’s already throbbing again, but it’s her I want—not some equally horny stranger on a plane or in the airport, not some ex fuck-buddy, not some extra desperate girl willing to give way more than a lap dance for a little more cash.
I want Lisa, and I want her now.
When Joey calls and asks if I’m still up for the strip club, I think about it for a while.
I could easily say no and he wouldn’t suspect a thing, but maybe he’d be disappointed that I wasn’t saying hi right away, ready to catch up after being gone for months.
He always makes sure I know he’s there for me anytime I want to hang out or vent or whatever, which should make me feel a little guilty for fucking his girl, right? Since he’s such a good friend?
I don’t know why, but the fact that I’ve betrayed him that way isn’t bothering me yet. Maybe it’s because I can still remember what it was like to have Lisa’s soft boobs against me, because I can still almost feel what it was like to thrust past her pussy lips. Maybe it’s because I still sort of feel like I’m in heaven.
Lisa’s not just any girl, she’s not simply some empty object of lust. I have serious feelings for her, and I’m hoping I can control myself enough that I don’t do anything stupid to blow whatever we have between us. I’d rather have her in some small way than not at all.
As for Joey, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. If he were to look at this objectively, he’d understand. I’ve known Joey a long time, so I know he cheated on a girlfriend once and never told her, and ultimately, it didn’t really matter because they weren’t right for each other anyway, and they broke up.
But because she never found out, he learned that he could get away with it, unfortunately. He’s not a serial cheater or anything—he’s faithful to girls he falls for, but any girl he’s with but not really feeling—well, he gets tempted to get excitement in other ways.
He hasn’t told me anything about cheating on Lisa, but I know he’s not madly in love with her. He loves her, and appreciates what a great girl she is, but it’s almost like it’s all intellectual, so she’s in that ‘not really feeling’ category.
Maybe that’s why I don’t feel bad.
Either way, I figure meeting up with him and feeling things out is probably a good idea.
Plus, who knows when I’ll get laid again? Maybe seeing a bunch of naked chicks can help calm me till I figure out whatever’s next. Maybe it’ll actually make things worse, but there’s just one way to find out.
Either way, it should be way better than being trapped alone in this apartment with memories of acquainting myself with Lisa’s body.
The strip club is definitely making things worse.
The problem is that I don’t even think a lap dance can help, and I don’t want to go to the champagne room. I only want my problem to be solved by Lisa.
But what the hell do I do now? She’s not gonna let herself get in a situation where she’ll be alone with me.
I have to convince her somehow that it’s okay to creep around, and without blaming it on Joey because I do feel a bit of loyalty to him. Even if I did find out he had cheated on her or is thinking about it or whatever, there’s no way I’d rat him out.
So what the hell am I gonna do?
I’ll have to handle myself tonight, and in the meantime, come up with a plan because I’m determined to make Lisa my fuck buddy on this trip.
From there, who knows? But I have to start somewhere to begin the process