Swift (Strangetown Magic Book 1) Read Online Free
Author: Al K. Line
and cuddly no matter how annoyed they are.
"You could have squashed me," he moaned.
"Don't blame me. You could have stayed at home, and anyway, you're the one that picked a bloody dormouse as the 'perfect' way to hide. Idiot."
"We've been through this. I wasn't thinking straight. You try to keep it together when one moment you're tucking into a nice hot bowl of lava that's been simmering for centuries so it's all flavorsome, and the next you find yourself in a pet shop and your head is sticking out through the roof and your horns are dripping with human blood because cashiers happened to be there when you got robbed of your lunch."
"Yeah, yeah," I waved his excuses away, "same old story. If every demon decided the best way out of it was to take up residence in a bloody dormouse then I'd understand, but most of them stayed as they were."
"I thought it would make escaping easier, or... dunno, let me catch my breath and think. I was stressed. How was I to know you can't go swapping back and forth here like you can at home? I've been loads of stuff over the millennia. I was even a god for a while. Not 'God,' but I did all right, did some good work."
I yawned. I'd heard it all before and it gets boring after a while. Especially when you were the one that happened to pick up the little dude after finding him out on the street. Then what do you know, hey, a talking magic mouse that used to be a demon and now you claimed it you are stuck with it, like, for eternity. That's the rules, everyone knows that. He's mine, although it mostly feels like the other way around.
"When you two have quite finished." Zeno lined up my boots neatly close to the front door—elves are obsessed with order—and then moved into the kitchen. I'm sure he wiggled his bum as he went, just to tease.
"Damn, what a morning." I could have slept for a week, eaten a horse, complete with saddle. Would he cook? Would he hell. Apparently elves don't do cooking. They have, I guess you would call them slaves, to do it for them.
"Where's the shopping?" He loomed over me as he put two coffees down on the table. That's the extent of his culinary expertise.
My admiration of his muscles, all seven feet of him, was replaced with a sinking feeling and the realization I was going to be hungry. "I got sidetracked, and chased, by one of you lot."
"So, no food then?"
"No. Like I said, I got—"
"Why do you do this every time? You just had to go to the supermarket and buy supplies." Zeno can be a real pain at times, which makes it easier to halt the lusting thing.
"I told you, I got chased by an elf on a goddamn troll and then I had to kick their ass. So, no shopping." This isn't what I am usually like, it really isn't, but it had been an incredibly stressful morning.
"Where's the vampire, I thought he was coming to lunch?" Zeno ignored my outburst, so maybe I do get stressed sometimes.
"He won't be coming. He got splatted, Zeno. I saw it and was meant to be next."
He sat down next to me, careful to look for Mack first, but he was busy someplace else, probably grabbing some of the coal I need to keep buying. Have you any idea how hard it is to get coal when demons are so mad for it? It's become a damn gangster drug war out there because of it—dodgy looking demons on street corners, pockets bulging with the stuff. It cost more than my cigars.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. You have to be more careful, Swift, keep away from them." He put an arm on my shoulder so I leaned in, just because I was tired.
"I tried, I really did. The vampire was keen to help some friends out, but we got sidetracked and never got far with it. And I was going to do the shopping afterward until... Ugh, what a mess."
"I understand. So, what are you going to cook? I'm starving." He looked at me expectantly, and if I'd had the energy I would have punched him right in his stupid face.
"You stupid fu—"
"Whoa, joke! It was a joke."
"Not funny." Then it dawned on me—he may have been being
"You could have squashed me," he moaned.
"Don't blame me. You could have stayed at home, and anyway, you're the one that picked a bloody dormouse as the 'perfect' way to hide. Idiot."
"We've been through this. I wasn't thinking straight. You try to keep it together when one moment you're tucking into a nice hot bowl of lava that's been simmering for centuries so it's all flavorsome, and the next you find yourself in a pet shop and your head is sticking out through the roof and your horns are dripping with human blood because cashiers happened to be there when you got robbed of your lunch."
"Yeah, yeah," I waved his excuses away, "same old story. If every demon decided the best way out of it was to take up residence in a bloody dormouse then I'd understand, but most of them stayed as they were."
"I thought it would make escaping easier, or... dunno, let me catch my breath and think. I was stressed. How was I to know you can't go swapping back and forth here like you can at home? I've been loads of stuff over the millennia. I was even a god for a while. Not 'God,' but I did all right, did some good work."
I yawned. I'd heard it all before and it gets boring after a while. Especially when you were the one that happened to pick up the little dude after finding him out on the street. Then what do you know, hey, a talking magic mouse that used to be a demon and now you claimed it you are stuck with it, like, for eternity. That's the rules, everyone knows that. He's mine, although it mostly feels like the other way around.
"When you two have quite finished." Zeno lined up my boots neatly close to the front door—elves are obsessed with order—and then moved into the kitchen. I'm sure he wiggled his bum as he went, just to tease.
"Damn, what a morning." I could have slept for a week, eaten a horse, complete with saddle. Would he cook? Would he hell. Apparently elves don't do cooking. They have, I guess you would call them slaves, to do it for them.
"Where's the shopping?" He loomed over me as he put two coffees down on the table. That's the extent of his culinary expertise.
My admiration of his muscles, all seven feet of him, was replaced with a sinking feeling and the realization I was going to be hungry. "I got sidetracked, and chased, by one of you lot."
"So, no food then?"
"No. Like I said, I got—"
"Why do you do this every time? You just had to go to the supermarket and buy supplies." Zeno can be a real pain at times, which makes it easier to halt the lusting thing.
"I told you, I got chased by an elf on a goddamn troll and then I had to kick their ass. So, no shopping." This isn't what I am usually like, it really isn't, but it had been an incredibly stressful morning.
"Where's the vampire, I thought he was coming to lunch?" Zeno ignored my outburst, so maybe I do get stressed sometimes.
"He won't be coming. He got splatted, Zeno. I saw it and was meant to be next."
He sat down next to me, careful to look for Mack first, but he was busy someplace else, probably grabbing some of the coal I need to keep buying. Have you any idea how hard it is to get coal when demons are so mad for it? It's become a damn gangster drug war out there because of it—dodgy looking demons on street corners, pockets bulging with the stuff. It cost more than my cigars.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. You have to be more careful, Swift, keep away from them." He put an arm on my shoulder so I leaned in, just because I was tired.
"I tried, I really did. The vampire was keen to help some friends out, but we got sidetracked and never got far with it. And I was going to do the shopping afterward until... Ugh, what a mess."
"I understand. So, what are you going to cook? I'm starving." He looked at me expectantly, and if I'd had the energy I would have punched him right in his stupid face.
"You stupid fu—"
"Whoa, joke! It was a joke."
"Not funny." Then it dawned on me—he may have been being
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