Summer Swing Read Online Free

other.”
    “And?”
    “They’re mutually attracted.”
    “So what’s the problem? The pressure of meeting someone for the first time?”
    “Yeah. My, uh, friend is pretty nervous.”
    “How come? Just anxiety , or like a full out fear that it’s not going to work out? Or that it will work out,” she added with a smile.
    “Uh, I don’t really know,” I admitted honestly. “I think she just feels pressured in general. She’s kind of…complex when it comes to guys.”
    “ Complex . A word like ‘complicated , ’ meaning ‘full of excuses,’ ” she chuckled.
    “Well, I mean yeah, I’d say she’s a bit complicated. But I think the excuses are real, though. Doesn’t everyone have issues with relationships ?”
    “No, not everyone. There are a lot of people that make relationships the main focus in their lives. Some people always have to have a companion, and it’s just another necessary part of life, like eating or sleeping.”
    Wow, that could be Dawn.
    “The rest of us can browse the ‘Top 10 Fears in Relationships’ and pick a hand ful .” She paused for a few seconds and then asked, “So what’s your friend’s fear in this particular situation?”
    “Um, what’s on that list again?”
    Miranda smiled . “Oh, let’s see… Fear of change or uncertainty, fear of losing freedom, fear of conflict or relationship problems, fea r of rejection , fear of dependency, fear of not being enough, fear of losing who you are, fear of giving up too much… Hmm, what am I missing? Oh yeah, fear of heartache and fear of disappointment. So? Do any of those pin down your friend’s anxiety?”
    With a smile I replied, “Uh yeah, probably a few of them. Maybe fear of uncertainty, rejection, and uh, not being good enough I think.”
    She nodded. “ Pretty s tandard.”
    “Oh so there’s nothing wrong with her?”
    She laughed again . “No, not at all. Those fears are instilled in all of us. Here’s what I would tell her—i f you’d like to pass this along. First of all, no one can predict the future. Even if we have our lives all planned out in our heads, it’s not going to work out exactly how we’ve designed. Relationships are not houses, and the blueprints are a whole different ballgame. There are too many variables that have to be factored in, and we don’t even know what those variables are half the time. But t hat’s how we learn and grow, and when we make the adjustments that are necessary to nurture our relationships, then we’ll learn and grow even more.
    “Second of all, nobody likes to be rejected, no matter how big or small that rejection is. Some of us handle it differently than others, but to be rejected by another person is the hardest of all. You can either suck it up and realize that maybe there are other things meant to be in your life instead, or you can wallow in your self pity and pick apart each one of your flaws to make it even worse. To me the choice is easy, but it’ s sometimes hard to do. Now the unfortunate part of those that fear rejection is that they tend to be pleasers. Is your friend a pleaser?”
    “Uh…”
    “Does she put aside her own wants and needs just to make others happy?”
    My heart volunteered its agreemen t with a strong thud. “Um, yeah, definitely.”
    “It’s important to be selfless and giving of ourselves, but not when it takes away from our own happiness. If we do things for other people and it causes us to feel resentful about it, then maybe we need to re-evaluate what we’re giving of ourselves.
    “The third one… What was it? Oh, fear of not being good enough. It’s kind of similar to fear of rejection only we feel like we’re trying to play ‘ catch up ’ instead. When we feel insecure about who we are or what we might possibly have to offer someone, we tend to do things because we feel we owe that to the other person; we feel like we’re not good enough the way we are, so we expect all of these unrealistic things of ourselves.