Sublime Wreckage Read Online Free Page A

"Amanda is fine. She is going to start helping her dad after school at the shop."
    "That's nice. Maybe I can get a discount on repairs since you are such good friends." That's my mom. Always trying to figure out what she can gain from knowing someone.
    "So what are we having tonight?" I don't know why I bother asking. The woman only knows how to make three things, spaghetti, pork chops with rice, and frozen pizza. I do most of the cooking over the summer but once school starts I'm just too busy. I still try to work about 20 hours a week while keeping up my grades so we mostly do take out or frozen food.
    "Spaghetti. I know it's your favorite." It's not. It's her favorite. But I sit quietly and keep my thoughts to myself. "Ok. It's ready. Can you get the plates out and fix something to drink?"
    "Sure mom." I pull open the old, lime green cupboard door and get two plates and two glasses. Then I head to the refrigerator to see what we have to drink. Of course she finished off the last of the tea. I grab the tea kettle to fill it with water from the rusty kitchen sink. I walk the four steps to the stove and turn the burner on to get the water boiling.
    "What the hell Maggie! Why isn't there any tea left? Why didn't you make more when you finished it off? Now we have to wait to eat because there isn't a damn thing to drink in this house. As soon as you finish cleaning up get your little ass to the store so we can have something besides tea. Got it?"
    "I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry I didn't make more tea. Why don't you sit down, start eating and I will get you an ice water until the tea is ready." This is how things go around here. I get blamed for everything even though she knows it wasn't me. I take that blame to avoid an outburst of rage from my mother. I will do just about anything to keep the peace. When my mother loses control it's like something else takes over her body. All reason flies out the window. I never know what is going to set her off. It's usually something little like the tea being gone. She just blows up over tiny things. There isn't a better way to describe her sudden shift in moods. It's almost like flicking a light switch on and off. It happens that fast.
    "Never mind. I'm going to eat in the living room and watch TV. Bring me my tea when it's ready. You can do whatever the hell you want. I try so hard Maggie but you don't make it easy to get along with you. You are so ungrateful sometimes. I really don't know why I try."
    And just like that the evening is turned to a disaster. It is very rare that she can stand to be in the same room as me for any length of time. She fixes her plate and heads into the other room. I stand by the stove waiting for the water to boil. When the kettle is ready I pour it in the pitcher with the tea bags. While I am waiting for the water to absorb the tea I get her glass and put 2 tablespoons of sugar in the bottom. My mother loves her sweet tea. I personally find it sickeningly sweet so I drink my tea with no sugar at all. After a couple of minutes the tea is ready so I pour it in the glass about half way, stir then add ice. I take it to my mother in the other room. She glances up at me with a look of disgust on her face, grabs the glass from my hand then turns back to the television.
    I wish I could say it hurts my feelings but this is how she treats me most of the time. I got used to it about five years ago. I learned to let it roll off of me otherwise I would be a blubbering mess and who wants to be around that? I fix my own plate and sit down at our tiny kitchen table. It's an oak table with three mismatched chairs all different colors. I eat alone as I do most nights. After I finish eating I put the rest of the food away, pull the tea bags out of the pitcher and put it in the refrigerator. Then I head into the living room to gather my mother's dirty dish and empty glass. I immediately fix her another ice tea so she has no reason to complain. I set it on the table in front of her