Student of Kyme Read Online Free

while, sort my head
out.’
    Ystayne
could not hide his disappointment. ‘That’s a shame.’
    I
laughed. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll come knocking on your door the moment I
change my mind.’
    Ystayne
pulled a face. ‘Sorry, am I that obvious?’
    ‘ Yes.’ I reached out and flicked the end of his nose. ‘I don’t
mind.’
    ‘ You’re used to it, of course.’ He shook his head and
sighed.
    Yes, I am
used to it, Ystayne, and to be honest I’m sick of it too. It’s like
the moment hara see me, they think they have this divine right to
possess me. It’s as if I have to pay for the fact that I’m
beautiful by having to give myself to everyhar who wants me. If I
say no, hara think there’s something wrong with me, which of course
there is. And then, when I do find somehar I really like, this
beauty thing gets in the way. He’ll think he won’t be able to
interest me for long, or maybe when he looks at me, he thinks about
the thousands of hara I’ve supposedly taken aruna with, because I’m
so irresistible I must be rooning constantly. You see, it’s really
annoying. Inevitably, I go for those who seem the most challenging
– except perhaps for Huriel. He doesn’t have that whiff of danger
about him that I like, I think. It’s obscene that Malakess looks
like Ysobi, because he’s a tedious academic and that face doesn’t
belong to him. Nohar has the right to look like Ysobi and not be
him. Why can’t Huriel see it? He could have warned me. Surely he
can see it? I’m rambling to myself. Maybe I should shave off my
hair and eyebrows. Would that make a difference?
     
    Agavesday, Meadowmoon 28
     
    It’s as
if the universe has cracked its knuckles and thought Aha, how can I
discomfort this wretched creature even more? I say this because
Malakess has been around a lot the past few weeks. I’ve become very
adept at avoiding him, because every time I see him, I get that
cold shock. He is actually a lot more physically attractive than
Ysobi, who as I said is rather odd-looking, but to me his looks
just seem washed out and pale in comparison, despite the shock I
experience each time I lay eyes on him. He gives me strange
glances, as if he’s just turned over a stone and some weird insect
is waving its feelers in his face. No doubt he thinks I’m peculiar.
Whenever we bump into each other, which thankfully is only rarely,
he’ll pause for a moment, then incline his head and say, ‘Hello,
Gesaril.’ It sounds sort of insulting, which should make it easier
for me, but it never does.
    I’ve been
making friends with Ystayne and Rayzie, who are easy going and,
despite claiming to be gossips, never try to question me about the
past. Rayzie was the more cautious to begin with, and I thought
this might be because he and Ystayne are an item, and Ystayne makes
no secret of the fact he likes me, but it isn’t that. Rayzie is
just cautious with every new har he meets. I’m glad it isn’t the
same old story, with Rayzie running off to his friends to complain
about me being a predator, and so on.
    One
night, Rayzie and I got drunk together and sat outside in the
garden to look at the stars. We sprawled on the lawn that was wet
with dew. Once a fox stared at us from the bushes; eyes like
topazes. Somewhere nearby, a har was singing; the song came through
the evening like a sad memory. I couldn’t hear the words, but I
didn’t need to. It was a song of longing; perhaps it made both
Rayzie and I think. He said to me, ‘You really are extraordinary to
look at, Gesaril. I bet you get fed up with hara lusting after
you.’
    This was
actually the first time anyhar had said this to me, in quite that
way. ‘I hate it,’ I said, tongue loosened by the wine we’d drunk.
‘It’s like they can’t see me, and my body is a prison I’m trapped
inside.’
    Rayzie
nodded. ‘I can understand that.’ He clasped my shoulder. ‘Don’t
worry. It’ll get better as you get older.’
    ‘ Will it?’
    ‘ Yes,’ he said.