Stronger than You Know Read Online Free

He does totally count as talking to someone at school, though.
    â€œWell, you said a few things, right?”
    â€œYeah … A few …” I’m just not sure where exactly a panic attack because of a few words exchanged falls on the crazy scale of one to ten. A five? An eight? Maybe it depends on how insane a full ten really is.
    â€œWhy don’t we find somewhere to get breakfast? My appointment shouldn’t take long, and then you can decide if you’re ready to go to school.” Her voice is so calm, relaxed. As if I freak out on the way to school every day, and I’m just one more thing on her list of things to do. No big deal.
    Make breakfast.
    Check.
    Pick up Joy hyperventilating on the sidewalk with a stranger.
    Check.
    Offer to get Joy breakfast on the way to school to ease anxiety.
    Check.
    â€œNo breakfast, and I’m so sorry.” The words come out in a mumble. “It’s like I’ve completely disrupted … everything here.”
    Aunt Nicole reaches out to touch me, but stops. And it sucks because I actually wouldn’t mind. Though I really don’t need to be thinking about wanting things that are out of my reach.
    â€œJoy, don’t ever think that. I already can’t imagine you not in our house. It’s like we didn’t even know you were missing until you got here.”
    I shake my head. She’s way too nice. Aunt Nicole is just really good at knowing what to say.
    â€œIt’s up to you whether you believe me or not, but it’s how I feel. I love you. I missed way too much of your life. It feels good to have you around.” No matter how nice and soft and understanding she seems, I’m still afraid to trust her words. No one would think taking me in is no big deal.
    I pull my legs onto the seat, completely overwhelmed. She’s said things like this before, but it feels like it means even more on a morning when I’ve completely disrupted her routine.
    â€œSo, do you want to hang out with me today? Or are you ready to face school?” Aunt Nicole asks.
    â€œI can go.” As much as I’d love to spend the day with her, I know she’s busy. She’s just being nice again.
    We drive in silence for a few minutes.
    â€œDid we push you too hard to be in school this fall?”
    â€œNo,” I answer immediately.
    â€œIt just seems like …”
    â€œI feel insane enough already. Keeping me home from school would just make it worse.” I can’t believe I just admitted that.
    â€œYou’re not …” But she doesn’t finish. Right. She knows it as well as I do. “Here we are.” She stops in front of the main doors.
    I climb out of the car, but hold the door open. My chest is a little heavy from her near admission of my mental state.
    â€œDo you need a note?” she asks.
    â€œI’m a pink-slip kid, remember?” My pink slip is my reward for being a mental case.
    â€œRight.”
    Pink-slip kids have a free pass to get out of class and go to the counselor. If I’m late or if I need to leave early, I can do that too. The catch is that the office immediately calls my aunt and uncle every time I use it. Then there are questions from my aunt and uncle about why I left last period early or if I’m okay or do I need to schedule an appointment with Lydia. Even when the questions are unspoken, they rattle through my head. Aunt Nicole’s eyes seem to hold an endless list of things she might like to know.

FOUR
    Still don’t work right
    â€œYou made it.”
    I lift my eyes from the floor to see Justin at his desk.
    He sits next to me in U.S. Government? How did I not notice?
    â€œYeah.” My gaze falls back to the floor. Much safer.
    â€œGot your inhaler?”
    â€œWhat?” Oh. Right. So I can either say something and let him in on more than I’ve even told my cousins or go for the lie. “Yep. My inhaler.”
    I’m totally off