Stirring the Pot Read Online Free
Author: Jenny McCarthy
doesn’t mean that I’ve completely sworn off tryingnew things, just that I’m old enough to know that I’m not going to miss out by not trying everything that comes my way.
As Popeye said before popping a can of spinach into his piehole: “I yam what I yam.” And man, it feels good to have arrived at this stage of the game.
Try Anything Once
RECIPE FOR SUCCESS
Ingredients:
An open mind
The ability to laugh at yourself
The ability to
not
laugh out loud at someone else’s expense
A little upper-body strength (optional)
In the game of Truth or Dare, I’ve always been one to pick the dare. Telling the truth just isn’t much of a challenge for me. As you know, I’m only too happy to tell you what’s on my mind and to admit to what I’ve done.
I’m also a sucker for pretty much any self-help book or self-improvement program out there. Which means either that I need a lot of help or that I’m an evolved soul always searching for a new level of consciousness. Care to take a stab at which?
But what happens when you put my interest in challenge and self-improvement together?
Well, take color therapy. Totally mind-blowing, that one. Better (healthier and more relaxing, certainly) than a good ride on Ecstasy.
During my first color therapy session, the guru/goddess/high-priestess/practitioner/licensed-by-some-entity/woman-in-charge talked a lot about the meaning of various colors and explained all about portals and openings and being open to letting things flow in. Ya, I had to hold back a laugh, too, but get your mind out of the gutter … she was talking about spiritual passageways! Then she placed a bunch of colored bottles in front of me and asked me to choose those that “spoke” to me. I listened hard, but none spoke up clearly. The green one seemed to be clearing her throat to say something but never got much further than that. In the end, I just picked the colors I thought were pretty, green among them.
Next, she had me lie down on a massage table and sprayed mist in my chosen colors around me while tinkly music played in the background. Then she placed the colored bottles at key chakras on my body. She balanced one on my forehead, placed one at my feet, and put three at my crotch. Should I have questioned the focus on my crotch? I didn’t. I just giggled.
After an hour and a half of listening to the trippy music and lying still so as not to disturb the bottles, I actually felt floaty and started seeing colors, too. Oddly, this was
way
better than a deep muscle massage. The stillness was kind of a revelation. (Or maybe there was something funky in the colorful mist I had inhaled?)
As much as I wanted to laugh at the whole idea at the start, I have to admit that I now see colors as being deeply meaningful. Turquoise, for instance, is apparently a color that helps you express your thoughts through the heart. Hey, maybe I’d talk less out my ass if I wore it more often. I’ll try it. That said, turquoise also happens to be a color that indicates a connection to dolphins and to the lost city of Atlantis. I can’t find a way to make those things relevant in my life (and wardrobe people are great, but they really don’t care about these things), so I just focus on the talking-through-the heart benefit.
Another wacky “therapy”? Tapping. Not Gene Kelly tapping with shoes. Tapping with fingers. Your own. As self-administered therapy. It’s called the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), and the theory is that tapping on certain pressure points—your wrists, your chest, you name it—will help you resolve issues and attain goals. I have to admit that I found the tap-tap-tappingsoothing. I can also admit that having to focus on a specific body part while thinking about a specific problem has a way of focusing the issue. It’s not something you want to do in public, though, because you end up looking like you have multiple personality disorder and one of your personalities is Woody
As Popeye said before popping a can of spinach into his piehole: “I yam what I yam.” And man, it feels good to have arrived at this stage of the game.
Try Anything Once
RECIPE FOR SUCCESS
Ingredients:
An open mind
The ability to laugh at yourself
The ability to
not
laugh out loud at someone else’s expense
A little upper-body strength (optional)
In the game of Truth or Dare, I’ve always been one to pick the dare. Telling the truth just isn’t much of a challenge for me. As you know, I’m only too happy to tell you what’s on my mind and to admit to what I’ve done.
I’m also a sucker for pretty much any self-help book or self-improvement program out there. Which means either that I need a lot of help or that I’m an evolved soul always searching for a new level of consciousness. Care to take a stab at which?
But what happens when you put my interest in challenge and self-improvement together?
Well, take color therapy. Totally mind-blowing, that one. Better (healthier and more relaxing, certainly) than a good ride on Ecstasy.
During my first color therapy session, the guru/goddess/high-priestess/practitioner/licensed-by-some-entity/woman-in-charge talked a lot about the meaning of various colors and explained all about portals and openings and being open to letting things flow in. Ya, I had to hold back a laugh, too, but get your mind out of the gutter … she was talking about spiritual passageways! Then she placed a bunch of colored bottles in front of me and asked me to choose those that “spoke” to me. I listened hard, but none spoke up clearly. The green one seemed to be clearing her throat to say something but never got much further than that. In the end, I just picked the colors I thought were pretty, green among them.
Next, she had me lie down on a massage table and sprayed mist in my chosen colors around me while tinkly music played in the background. Then she placed the colored bottles at key chakras on my body. She balanced one on my forehead, placed one at my feet, and put three at my crotch. Should I have questioned the focus on my crotch? I didn’t. I just giggled.
After an hour and a half of listening to the trippy music and lying still so as not to disturb the bottles, I actually felt floaty and started seeing colors, too. Oddly, this was
way
better than a deep muscle massage. The stillness was kind of a revelation. (Or maybe there was something funky in the colorful mist I had inhaled?)
As much as I wanted to laugh at the whole idea at the start, I have to admit that I now see colors as being deeply meaningful. Turquoise, for instance, is apparently a color that helps you express your thoughts through the heart. Hey, maybe I’d talk less out my ass if I wore it more often. I’ll try it. That said, turquoise also happens to be a color that indicates a connection to dolphins and to the lost city of Atlantis. I can’t find a way to make those things relevant in my life (and wardrobe people are great, but they really don’t care about these things), so I just focus on the talking-through-the heart benefit.
Another wacky “therapy”? Tapping. Not Gene Kelly tapping with shoes. Tapping with fingers. Your own. As self-administered therapy. It’s called the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), and the theory is that tapping on certain pressure points—your wrists, your chest, you name it—will help you resolve issues and attain goals. I have to admit that I found the tap-tap-tappingsoothing. I can also admit that having to focus on a specific body part while thinking about a specific problem has a way of focusing the issue. It’s not something you want to do in public, though, because you end up looking like you have multiple personality disorder and one of your personalities is Woody
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