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and my very obvious concern for his welfare.
    So the question I was pondering was: what would breaking up with Nick now do for my future relationship karma? Would I always be the girl who took while the taking was good, but skipped town the minute things got ugly?

Chapter 5
    F
    inally, 6:00 p.m. came around. Slipping on a super-fine fitted cashmere Ralph Lauren dress, I quickly touched up my makeup, grabbed my bag, and headed for the door. Granted, I was in the midst of a personal crisis, but that was no reason not to look as good as possible. Thirteen hours moping around in a terry-cloth robe was quite enough!
    Bill Hansen’s apartment was in the uber-luxe Manifold Building. I willed myself to seem confident and in control as I was buzzed upstairs; inside I was a bundle of nerves. I still didn’t know what to say or do when I saw Nick. Part of me wanted to kill him for what he had put me through.
    Nick answered the door almost at once and pulled me into his strong arms. I tried to push him away, but he pressed me firmly against his chest and tightened his grip on my body. My fury started to melt, and as the tension of the last two days ebbed out of me, I began to cry. Kissing my eyes dry and stroking my hair, Nick murmured “sorry.” After a while, my sobs subsided and I could hear the steady, reassuring beat of Nick’s heart against my ear. Eventually, he released his grip on my body and led me toward the closest room.
    We entered a richly decorated sitting room. Thick Persian rugs adorned the floor and the soft flicker of a gas fire danced on the walls. Nick steered me toward an oversized sofa and pulled me gently onto his lap wrapping his arms protectively around my body. My cheeks were still wet with tears, and he wiped them tenderly.
    He turned his face toward me, and for the first time I saw how sad and drawn he looked. His usually sparkling blue eyes had lost their luster and he had deep, bruise-like purple splotches under his eyes.
    “Nick, you look absolutely terrible!”
    The corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly, exposing his perfectly straight, white teeth. “Trust me, I feel a lot worse than I look.”
    “Nick, you need to tell me what’s going on,” I urgently said. “You have no idea how worried I’ve been. When you didn’t return any of my calls I thought you were dead.”
    Nick’s body slackened. I waited for him to say it was all just a giant misunderstanding, but he didn’t.
    “Zara, I don’t know how to say this, but the insider trading allegations are true.”
    Nick’s admission felt like a punch. I tried to push his arms away from me, but he tightened his grip.
    “No, Zara, stay. I need to explain.” Nick’s voice sounded thick with emotion. “I was just trying to help Teddy and Josh. They lost millions trading options during the GFC. To make matters worse, Teddy mortgaged his sister’s house: she has four kids and has recently been made redundant and Josh used his parents’ printing business as security. Their families have been good to me over the years so I gave them all the money I had, but it wasn’t enough. I even swallowed my pride and asked my father to bail Teddy and Josh out. He refused. In desperation I came up with a scheme to make some fast money.”
    “Insider trading?” I whispered.
    Nick nodded his head.
    For a minute I was silent. “So what are you going to do now?” I sighed, defeated.
    Nick put his head in his hands before looking up at me. “I don’t know Zara,” he said helplessly. “My father has hired New York’s top criminal attorney. He seems to think he can get the charges against me dropped, or at least significantly reduced, on the basis that I wasn’t knowingly involved in the trading.”
    “Nick, I don’t know what to say,” I said, holding his hands between mine. This was so much worse than I’d thought.
    “There’s nothing to say. I absolutely did the wrong thing and I’ve got to live with that. I’m just so sorry, Zara,