Stay Until We Break Read Online Free Page A

isn’t her, no matter how hard I try to pretend it is.
    “Are you all right, sweetheart?” Diane asks, caressing the side of my face as she smiles at me.
    “Do you have any more weed?” I ask. I don’t want any more weed. I just need an excuse to stop doing this until I can get my head back together.
    “Sure,” Marilyn says. “There’s a cigar tin in the coffee table drawer. Help yourself.”
    I’m relieved to get out of there but I’m also still baked, so I walk right out into the living room barefoot and shirtless without even realizing how it looks. Sonia pulls the sleeping bag over her head as I come out, so I know she’s still awake. I pull the tin out of the drawer, but before I head back into Diane’s room I pause next to where she’s lying on the floor, look down, and she’s curled into a ball like a little snail.
    “Hey, are you sure you’re okay out here?” I ask her.
    “Are you sure you’re okay in there?” she says.
    She peeks her head out and she’s eyeing me hard and I’m suddenly completely self-conscious. I cross my arms in front of my chest, holding the tin of weed.
    “Two girls at the same time, Cole? That’s special even for you.”
    “Nothing happened.”
    “Please, do you think I’m stupid? I can see your happy trail from here.”
    “My what?” I look down and realize that not only did I walk out here without my shirt—my pants are unzipped and my shorts are hanging out. I turn around and pull myself together, but as I’m buttoning up, I drop the tin to the floor, and the lid pops open and a baggie of weed and several packs of rolling papers fall out. I bend down to pick it all up and fumble with the lid. God I hate weed. I hate being this high. I hate the way Sunny is watching me. I hate the way my hands feel like they belong to someone else right now, someone who is brand-new to having hands. “What the hell is a happy trail?” I ask, looking down at my navel.
    “Jesus, you’re wasted.”
    “Are you giving me shit?”
    “Yes,” she says. “Definitely.”
    “Is that necessary?”
    She scowls, and I can’t deal with her right now so I get up and start to walk back down the hall to Diane’s room.
    “Cole, wait.” I turn around, and for some reason, I wonder if she’s going to ask me to stay out here with her instead. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I definitely will if she asks me. I’ll unroll my sleeping bag right next to hers and pass out like a baby and be relieved to be done with this whole night. But she doesn’t ask me.
    “Go into my backpack and get the yellow bag,” she says. “There are Trojans in there. Take a couple.”
    “What?”
    “Condoms,” she says. “Herpes is forever—use protection.”
    “What the hell did you bring condoms for?” I ask, which is a stupid question, but it dawns on me that Sunny has packed rubbers and who exactly was she planning to fuck on this tour? Complete strangers?
    “I brought them for you,” she says.
    “Shut up, you did not bring condoms for me.”
    “Well, for you and Joey,” she says. “I doubt I’ll need them but I figured you would, and hopefully Joey will or we’ll be hearing about it the whole trip. I brought a first aid kit and sunscreen, too. I tried to think of everything.”
    My God, she’s like the world’s most awkward den mother.
    “I don’t need any condoms,” I say. “I’m good.”
    “Fine,” she says. “Don’t get herpes.”
    Then she sighs and pulls the sleeping bag back over her head, and I walk right back into Diane’s room.
    When I get there, both girls are fully naked and Diane has her head between Marilyn’s legs and Marilyn is moaning softly and I wonder if this whole night is some twisted, frustrated wet dream because holy fucking shit. I’m tempted to wake Joey, just to make sure it’s real. I don’t, because to do that I’d have to go back out and deal with Sonia again and no thanks.
    I’m glad they didn’t feel the need to wait for me to get