So Much to Learn Read Online Free Page A

way, it was exactly as bad as it sounded. "Being
so scared of physical contact all the time is holding me back. I
want to enjoy being with guys, but I can't at the moment. The only
way I can see round it is to be taught what it's like by someone I
trust."
    "When you're
with the right guy I'm sure it will happen anyway. You can’t force
it," Jack, rather predictably, stated. Poor guy looked as
uncomfortable as I felt; spewing talk-show-quality chick advice
couldn't have been doing much for his masculine ego. However, I
couldn't spare any sympathy for him at that moment, I had to focus
all my energy on convincing him
    "I don't want to wait that long," I said petulantly. "And what
if I never find the right guy because I’m too chicken to get close
to him? I could drive my perfect man away through being such a
prude."
    I could see
that I wasn't convincing him. It was time to up the ante.
    "Fine!" I
stormed, grabbing my mobile out of my pocket and scrolling through
the address book until I found Brad's number. "I'll just call my ex
then and tell him I've changed my mind and he can have his nasty
way with me after all."
    Jack's face
darkened and he took a hesitant step towards me. "You have more
self-respect than that, Tally," he said seriously.
    "Do I?" I asked
shrilly, my finger still hovering over the call button. "Because I
don't know anymore. I'm so desperate, Jack, I'll go out to a pub
and latch onto a random guy. I'm sure someone out there is prepared
to teach me what I want to know."
    "Give me your
phone." He held out his hand and, after a moment, added, "And your
car keys. You're not going to call Brad and you're not going to
pick a bloke up at a bar."
    I clutched my
phone more tightly, glaring at him defiantly. "You're not grasping
the situation here. It's you or the next guy I see. I'm anyone's
tonight, but I had just enough sense to come to you first."
    Jack stepped
back into his corner looking as if the world as he knew it had come
crashing down around his ears. He searched my face intently,
looking, I suppose, for any sign that I was joking. 'You wish
buddy,' I thought grimly bringing my finger closer still to the
call button.
    "You're
serious, aren't you?” He asked as our stand-off dragged out another
few seconds. “This is surreal! What about Matt?"
    "Yes, I'm serious, and what about Matt? This isn’t anything to do
with him. Please Jack."
    It was perhaps
the little wobble in my voice as I resorted to begging that made
him heave a deep sigh then, and close his eyes briefly.
    "Give me your
mobile and your keys," he repeated. When I hesitated he continued,
"Go wash your face and calm down. If, in the morning, you still
feel this way then…" he stopped and the moment dragged on, the air
crackling with tension. "…then I'll consider it."
    I felt like
leaping into the air and punching my fist in celebration, but I
restrained myself and, instead, meekly handed over my phone and
keys. As I dropped them into his open palm I pressed my fingers
against his briefly and whispered, "Thank you."
    "I haven't said
I definitely will yet," he cautioned, but we both knew that he had
all but lost the battle.
    Feeling suddenly exhausted I followed his advice and went into
the bathroom to give my face a good scrub down. Catching sight of
myself in the mirror I saw that I really did look awful; pale, but with red
blotches here and there on my face and with watery, bloodshot eyes.
How could he have resisted me for as long as he did?
    Staggering into
my bedroom, I pulled my pjs out from under my pillow and quickly
immersed myself in their fuzzy warmth. Pulling my hair out of its
ponytail, I crawled between the covers and snuggled into the
softness of the mattress.
    I was wiped.
Exhausted physically and emotionally.
    As I lay there,
I heard the front door slam and my brother's heavy footsteps walk
into the kitchen. A moment later the tap in the kitchen started
running and I smiled, picturing Matt cupping his hands under the
tap just